MARRIAGE QUESTIONS:....How to handle Initial Marital Suspicion


Marriage Proposal: When your husband is suspecting you


A lot of women get married without counting the cost of marriage in terms of duties and obligations.  What is uppermost in their mind is that their man is kind and loving.  

Some ladies will even accept a proposal without even asking for courtship of even six months to understudy each other and ask questions.  They are hoping to fix whatever comes up as a challenge in the marriage.  This is very risky as you will see from this real-life story, that you should ask all relevant questions and obtain answers before making a marriage proposal and accepting same.

Sometimes, it could be the woman suspecting her husband, or vice versa. For a Christian, the way to go is to speak the truth always.  The solution to the problem will come from the truth being made known.

The story:   This is a conversational piece on marriage written to help those planning to get married soon, as well as those already in marriage, but feel their spouse took advantage of their innocence, or ignorance during their days of courtship.

Remember that Courtship allows the brother and sister to get to know each other better and then decide whether they can work together as husband and wife, more importantly as one, after marriage.

So, during courtship, truth, honesty and the whole truth are expected from both of them. Needless to say during that period, the brother and sister should stick to the rules and make sure no secret is kept away from each other.

Mr. Olawale:

You can imagine the surprise Mr Olawale had to deal with after the marriage, he observed that his wife with whom he had a six-month courtship, who said she had kept herself from men in the last year still had the phone number of two of her Ex-boyfriends in her phone.

Upon closer investigation, he also discovered that she has kept their communication active on WhatsApp, and recently got some money transferred to her account from one of the men in Abuja.  

The worst of his nightmares is that his wife who had no male friends had an unexplainable sex drive.  The type they describe as hypersexuality.  The high libido is so high that Mr Olawale is feeling insecure if for any reason work should take him out of town for a week, whether his wife can cope without him.

Questions and Answers:

Q1. Why are you keeping the phone numbers of your ex-lovers after marriage?

Answer:  They contacted her to congratulate her on her marriage.  

Q2. How come you saved and kept their numbers active? 

Answer: They are both not living around us, here in Lagos.  They live in Portharcourt and Abuja

Q3. What about money transferred into your account by one of them?

Answer:  I have spent it.

Q4. Why did you not tell me about it, and how much money are we talking about here? 

Answer: I felt you would be angry with me.  The amount is N150,000. 

Mrs Olawale insisted she had broken up with both men and had nothing to do with them.  She cannot reject their good wishes, nor the gift of N150,000 sent by one of them, after all, she did not request money and never knew he would give her up for N150,000.

Question 2:  High Libido (Hypersexuality)

The problem of high Libido can vary from one person to the next, depending on a person's preferences and life circumstances.  A person who takes a lot of energy drinks, alcohol and Ginger regularly will discover their desire for sex will surely climb to its next levels.

Libido can be affected by medical conditions, hormone levels, medications, lifestyle and relationship problems.  The lifestyle here includes working in places where alcohol is freely sold and consumed. Getting exposed to explicit pictures and videos that are not appropriate. 

Q5. He asked her how she would cope without him for a week?

Answer: She would either fast and pray without food or use toys

Brethren, the mention of Toys would suggest there is an addiction problem.  however, deliverance prayers and studying the word of God and obeying them remains a viable solution path for a Christian.  

Mr Olawale thinks his wife was not ready for marriage from the start, otherwise, she should know that accepting a huge financial gift could compromise her in the future.  In fact, he thinks that her keeping their phone numbers active is an 'open invitation' to third parties.  

Men and brethren, what do you think about this matter?  Is he correct in his opinion? What about Mrs Olawale, is she right in accepting the gift and spending the same without informing her husband?  Please share your opinion with us.

Important Issues in Marriage:

1. Discover each other

Love is important in marriage.  It is demonstrated in help and tolerance exhibited on a daily basis towards each other. It is part of love to know your duties and obligations in marriage.  When there is love, it's easy to discover each person's strengths and weaknesses and learn over time, how to provide support and assistance when needed.

2. The Wife is the 'heart' of the Husband

The husband is not just the head of the home, he is the head of the wife, in a matrimonial arrangement between the man, his wife, and the Lord. Submission is a key issue and women should understand that as they submit to their husbands, the men will also submit to them in love and kindness. Submission is mutual in the long run.

3. No Alcohol  - Drinking alcohol is a red flag for both single and married ladies. Avoid it because of the danger and harm it can cause to you and your marriage.

4. No Cheating - Infidelity

A lot of Christian brethren make a vow of Chastity before the Lord before getting into marriage.  This is good because it will make you fear Him and avoid compromising positions and actions.  God forbids unfaithfulness, and men hate to share their wives with other men. Infidelity destroys trust in marriage.

5. Be one in the Spirit

If you marry a believer, who fears the Lord, both of you will find it easy to agree on issues.  But if one of the couples is an unbeliever, believing good behaviour can convert the other person. So, even if there is a divergence of opinion, a spirit-minded believer will be able to love the other person until he/she follows your good example.

6. Your dress remains godly 

Let your dressing be modest... for women. Honour your own body and show through appearance that you love the Lord.


Friends, Jesus is coming soon.  If you have not yet received Him as Lord and Saviour, I plead with you to do it now.  

Say this simple prayer: 

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus Christ.

I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose again for my justification. I repent of my sins and ask for forgiveness. I ask Jesus to come into my heart and reign as my Lord and Saviour.   

I receive Him by faith and I am born again.


Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post