MARRIAGE: How Bad Girls can Transform to Virtuous Women




1. Introduction

2. Virtuous Woman

3. Bad Girls

4. Decision to Change    

- Alternative means of livelihood     

- Relocation and Accommodation

- Getting New friends    

- Integrating into the family of God on earth

5. The Transformation proper


Life can be a challenging experience for many people.  There are people who have not been exposed to God and the things of God all their lives.  Born in an unbelieving family, they know nothing about the bible or how to obey its instructions.

For people like that, when difficult situations come their way, their response is always worldly, using what you have to get what you want.  Many women engaged in prostitution are victims of circumstances of life.  There are others who were greedy for money and wanted to belong to the 'happening class' of their time and environment.

However, many ladies who are doing Hookups today who have come to hate their condition and the fact that Hookup is a dead end.  If you find yourself among those ladies, this piece is for you.  In God, all things are possible to those who believe.  God is able to deliver you and separate you from and conditions of life you do not want.  But, you must believe Him and trust Him to help you.

Virtuous Woman

The characteristics of a virtuous woman have been explored in the bible and explained in Proverbs 31.  It starts with the definition of the beauty of such a woman, which lies within.  This beauty is one of the distinguishing factors standing for the virtuous woman.  

It is a beauty developed out of good character and caring for the things of God and her family.  For a virtuous woman, her outward beauty reflects her inward beauty and faith in God.

Men, her brethren and relatives are responsible for their own thoughts and actions, but at the same time, they are visual beings and tend to be influenced easily by what they see.

She is able to handles her body and dressing with discretion, knowing her duty of care before God to her immediate community.  To that extent, she cannot be found with a revealing outfit.  She understands modest dressing and the pressure on men when a woman is seductively dressed.

She is kind and respectful enough to herself and her neighbours, treats her appearance with utmost importance, stays healthy and ensures the same for her whole family.

She helps others

She is hospitable, generous, and kind. Kindness is about more than nice words and pleasant smiles. She makes herself available for people to seek counsel and advice.

She is a wise spender and when it becomes necessary, she can spend time and money for other people.  She is a woman of faith and loves the Lord and His word. For her, the word of God is the final say on any matter and that's what she teaches her children.

Pure Heart:

Next to being a woman of faith, she keeps her heart pure from defilement and filthiness. If she is single, she will discourage sex before marriage as the word of God preaches and plays to the rules of Courtship when she is engaged with a brother.  She is conscious of her relationship with God and the presence of the Holy Spirit with her.

She generally:

1. Respects her parents. 

2. Respect your husband and her children.

3. She would deliberately cultivate virtues and practise them till they become part of her lifestyle.  These are the qualities that distinquishes the virtuous woman from all others.  She lives her life in accordance with the word of God and seeks to please God in everything she do.

Bad girls

A bad girl is a product of many factors, her family background, friends and relatives. Her personality reflects the many contradictions of life, the things she has been exposed to and her personal choice.  When a greedy person is exposed to cheap ways of making money, she will choose it, no matter the risks involved.

Also, if a person of low morality is exposed to illicit ways of making money, she will celebrate it and join them immediately.  So these factors come together to define many of the girls we call bad girls.  They are girls that are comfortable with using their body to make a living, despite to dangers of contacting sexually transmitted diseases.  The risk of being a victim of ritual killings does not frighten them, not to mention exchange of destiny through money and sex.

Despite the risks, these ladies hide to practise prostitution, while others are comfortable doing it in the open, even on social media.  At the social media level, recovery becomes so difficult, from the human point of view because they have lost a good sense of value for their bodies.  

Yet, there are many in this business that desire to be different.  Many of them have traced the root causes of their problem and how they got into Hookup with a lot of regrets.  For some, it was ignorance that brought them there, while it was hardship and the thought that there was nobody to help them.  For everyone that desires change, change will come to them in Jesus name.

All the drama of depending on men, spending hours on social media advertising their body, snapping pictures and twerking can come to an end by a decision to repent and seek God's help and transformation.

Such a decision for Christ will bring freedom because such a girl will soon recover her old self.  She will do away with hustling from one location to another to please men at the risk of their health and safety.  The risk of sleeping out of the house for days and weeks, without anything to show for it will be over for good. God is able to do all things for them that believe.

If you are one of them and you are wondering how you can change your lifestyle and become a respectable wife and a good mother, you will have to humble yourself and repent of your sins and believe God a miracle.  

Here's how to approach the change you desire:

Decide to change

1. You have to come to the point where you hate the Hookup business and everything about it.  Tell yourself it's over with Hookup.

2. Then begin to plan an alternative means of livelihood for your life. 

There is a way that the desire for change works.  It will make you hate the business and the proceeds from it.  This is the freedom you need to think straight about the alternative means of livelihood.  Jesus Christ in the bible warned the Pharisees and the Scribes that prostitutes will go into the kingdom of heaven before them because the moment a prostitute decides to leave the business of prostitution, she is done with it.  She will live the rest of her life for God.

So, consider giving your heart to Christ in a living Church and follow after the things of God.  This will give you peace of mind and the Spirit of God will counsel you along the way, on what steps and things to do, and what to avoid.  You continually ask for God's mercy and help.  Tell Him that you want to live your life for Him.

There will be temptations, and lack of basic things at the initial time as you leave your 'comfort zone', your friends and acquaintances. You will have to pray more often to God, persistent prayer will bring you closer to God and the Lord, Jesus Christ will become your friend.

Regular and consistent prayer will be presence of God real in your life.  In your present location and the new place you may relocate to, make sure you find a Bible-believing church to join, for your spiritual growth.

Alternative Income Streams

1. Depending on the lady involved, her family and her academic background, she can choose to boldly visit a female-denominated business and volunteer to help them, market their products etc for income.  The income may just be enough to cover her feeding and transportation.  In Nigeria and indeed Africa, such a lady should go to big markets and look for market-based businesses looking for helping hands.

2. If she loves children, she should go to daycare, Nursery and primary schools around her and seek employment.  This Daycare job option is open to ladies with secondary school leaving certificate, so anyone can start with that.  Some daycare facilities have accomodation, which can be a plus for her.

3. She can also look for importers and distributors of FMCG in her city and market their 'slow-moving products' to prospective shops and businesses at a commission.

Relocation and Accommodation

One of the most important decisions to contend with after deciding to stop Hookup is to find a new environment to relocate to.  A place where you are not known, away from your usual company of Hookup ladies living together and flowing together.

Traditionally, Hookup ladies live with their friends and work together in groups or as a team in cities away from where their parents live. The decision could be to return to your parent's house or a friendly and understanding relative, especially born-again relatives.

Whether you choose to return to your parents or a born-again relative, make sure you declare newfound faith and love for God, and how you have decided to live your life for Christ from that moment forward.  This confession will help you to remain faithful to your word and confession when you face temptations to backslide.

Keep on studying the Word of God daily and praying.  Pray without season and make Christ your Friend and Lord.  The repentance and works of repentance will win you friends, old and new. 

A new set of Friends

You will need a set of new friends that will motivate and encourage you.  If you relocate back to your parent's house, make your mum the first of such friends.  With your mum, you can share your life with her and know she will support you with prayer and all other things.  No one can understand your situation better than your mother, so as a woman, make your mother your friend.

You also need Bible-believing sisters in a Living Church who will encourage you spiritually and help you understand the scriptures and how to apply them in your life. Most importantly, avoid high-class girls in the new church you find yourself, because many of them could be secretly doing hookups, while still praising the Lord in the church.  You don't need any friends with corrupt minds, or those that will intimidate your with money and cause you to backslide.

Guide your faith and salvation from fake brothers and sisters in the church, who may suggest wrong options for you, where to go for solution when they know your challenges.  Guide your heart and your tongue, pray that God establish your faith, business or employment, so you will gladly serve Him.

Integrate yourself into the family of God

Having gone through these stages, you are now established in Christ and other areas of life.  Even if you are not making much money, you have enough to take care of yourself, then it's time to get serious with God and the things of God.

You are ready to be integrated into the family of God on earth where things begin to happen for you as you ask for it.  Where grace will triumph over your sins and curses of old.

This is the stage when the lady begins to study the bible deeper, prays deeper and obeys the word better.  This is the stage when the lady begins to live a confident and bold Christian life.  She gets to understand the marriage covenants, rules and expectations of marriage.

The second part of this piece will explain how she leaves her past behind and builds her life on godliness and Christian virtues and values that make her a virtuous woman and wife. Glory to God!


Friends, Jesus is coming soon.  If you have not yet received Him as Lord and Saviour, I plead with you to do it now.  

Say this simple prayer: 

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus Christ.

I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose again for my justification. I repent of my sins and ask for forgiveness. I ask Jesus to come into my heart and reign as my Lord and Saviour.   

I receive Him by faith and I am born again.


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