THE DONT'S OF MARRIAGE...You cannot hide for Long!




Marriage is good when it is nurtured in love and respect.  It flourishes to bring physical and emotional fulfilment to both parties.  For marriage to be fun, the two people in marriage need divine and earthly knowledge and wisdom.

They will decide to invest their time in the success of their union.  The two people should seek to know themselves inside out, in order to avoid being unduly critical of each other.  They will learn about each other's weaknesses and avoid conflict. 


Pre-Marriage Counselling:

They need pre-marriage counselling, where they will get to know God's plan for marriage and how to establish godly order at home.  The knowledge of God and His Words on marriage will expose them to the consequences of allowing themselves to be led by the flesh or lust.

They will realise that marriage is not a partnership or venture that has a duration period.  Marriage is a lifelong relationship, and one deserves all the attention and cares they can bring to the table.  When they invest their 'all' in it, it could be a 'small heaven on earth'.  

They will be able to turn their individual weaknesses into strengths in the marriage, their opinions and perspectives turned into opportunities for growth and happiness.  Wisdom requires that the partners in a marriage are not in competition with each other, instead, they are to complement each other.

Marital Boundaries

These don’ts will help the two people getting married or already in marriage to establish boundaries of conduct for themselves.  They will help them establish godly order in their home if they obey the tenets of the Word of God.  It is also expected to help them to order their steps in marriage, so they are not the ones destroying their own marriage.


1. Don’t take your partner for granted.  This is very disastrous in all situations because it leads to other errors in marriage.  It hurts to see that you know what your spouse expects from you and you do the otherwise, thinking what will he/she do?  Many times, it leads the other partner emotionally wounded.  If he/she does not fear the LORD, the next move will be to seek revenge.

2. Do not neglect your partner in any situation, or take your anger or frustration on him/her.  Instead, let them know how much you love and value them through your words and action.  Your presence and attention when it matters.  Make it a priority to please your spouse as much as you can.

3. Don't cheat on each other - Cheating on your partner can be an ultimate disaster. If one of the partners in a relationship indulges in infidelity, it damages the relationship to a breaking point, and healing such a marriage is very hard because trust, one of the foundations of a strong relationship, has been broken.

4. Don’t hide important things. Those things are important to your heart, discuss them with your spouse and let your stand on them be clear.  If necessary, both of you could negotiate on them till a common ground is found.

5. Don’t take offence. And do not write down the offences of your spouse.  If you do, it will be difficult for you to forgive such offences, given that you have memorized them.  Many times, one of you will do something that’s insensitive, thoughtless or even selfish.  It could be a matter concerning family members or friends, it’s not necessary to take offence. There will be offending behaviours, but they must be in error and not intentional.

6. Avoid constant nagging and quarrelling

7. Don't disrespect each other

8. Don't keep late night

9. Don't keep an outside soul mate.

10. Don't engage in emotional relationships outside your marriage.

11. Don't keep the pictures and phone numbers of your Ex-Lover.

12. Break with your pat, and start life anew with your spouse.

13. Don't be judgemental.

14. Don't frustrate the efforts of your spouse

15. Do not hide your feelings from each other.

16. Do not assume things, or listen to gossip.

17. Don't fight, pray for him/her.

18. Don't hold grudges - No bitterness

19. Don't try to change him/her, instead, persuade him/her to change for the better.

20. Don't forget to let go on 'issues that divide' 

21. Don't compare your spouse with others

22. Know the thoughts you should keep to yourself. 


Please don’t stop working on your marriages.   A healthy marriage takes love, effort, and perseverance to build.  Your eyes should be focused on your goals, living to please God and your selves.  

Remember the old saying that "The way you make your bed is how you will lie" Be honest to your partner, do not tell lies, for there is nothing covered that will not be exposed with time.  The LORD bless your marriages in Jesus Christ's name!.

Friends, Jesus is coming soon.  If you have not yet received Him as LORD and Saviour, I plead with you to do it now with this simple prayer: 

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus Christ.
I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose again for my justification. I repent of my sins and ask for forgiveness. I ask Jesus to come into my heart and reign as my Lord and Saviour.  
I receive Him by faith and I am born again.


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