CHRISTIAN WOMAN.......Moving from a good woman to a Virtuous Wife



It takes two people's commitment to make a marriage succeed.  Marriage is teamwork, and so the love and joy that brought a couple together should continue and grow into higher levels for the union to succeed. 

Marriage brings joy to the soul when you realize over time that you are married to your better-half.  This discovery is the reason why many married people keep thanking the Lord for the spouse, and I counsel young people to get on their knees, engage the Holy Ghost, involve your parents, make sure "The person you are in love with is also in love with you".  

God created women with some unique abilities that men do not have, so that the woman is a perfect complement and helpmate for the man.  Women know how to care for people from their husbands, to children as well as parents.  Women can easily discern the right actions to take towards these categories of people at each point in time.

Women are stronger than men in many ways, but, they are emotionally weaker than men.  Marriage takes a lot of pressure off the shoulders of a woman when she is married to the right man.  Finding a godly spouse can be tough these days because of selfish and dishonest behaviours.  

Selfish people can hardly commit to any long-term arrangement, and marriage is a life long arrangement.  The best of Christian marriage is experienced when people are ready to commit themselves to the success of their marriage, no matter the obstacles that will come their way.

A Good Wife
As a child of God, many newly married Christian ladies start with the desire to be a good wife to their husbands.  A good wife can easily meet the expectation of her husband, the moment she decides to try.  This is because being a good wife is about doing those things that are culturally correct.  What does the husband's culture say about a married woman, do those things and your husband will be pleased.

For some people, it is what does the husband's religion say a married woman should behave? If a woman can understand and act in accordance to the cultural dictates of her husband or his faith, she is a good wife.

A typical good wife should know the dos and the don'ts of marriage according to the culture of her husband or his religion.  As long as she gets familiar with those norms and keeps them, she is regarded as a good woman.  Some of these things include:

1. Show your Husband Love: Know the different ways to show love to your husband.  In my culture, a good wife is told never to starve the husband with food.  Even during times of bitter disagreement, he should still be served his delicious native soups and delicacies he enjoys.  

Another advice given to young wives is never to sleep outside - Infidelity.  It is regarded as a secret divorce paper, for a married woman to surrender her body to another man. Fidelity is the highest show of love to your husband.

2. Communication: A good wife knows the best time to bring p a matter before the husband when he is happy and merry.  She chooses her language right to avoid argument and disagreement.  Communication is key in marriage.  It includes speaking your mind on important matters, ask questions to get clarification etc.  The woman should not assume the husband knows what she wants. 

Open communication is recommended, in which case you tell your husband what you think or feel and what you expect of him. Talk to your husband – ask, say, and discuss. Avoid the silent treatment, which can make things worse. 

3. Be supportive:  Being supportive in a marriage is not just about being there when the partner is having challenges, it is helping in his weak area.  Supporting his plans and commending his efforts.  It includes speaking out when he is taking a wrong step and offering constructive criticism to encourage him to see reasons to change or improve whatever he is doing. 
4. Love and Cherish your Husband:  Your husband is the closest person to you, closer than your parents, so make sure he is your best friend.  The best marriage is the one where the couple is each other’s best friend. Nothing is better than being in love with your best friend. This is a love that is deep, strong and genuine. 

5. Respect him:  The best marriages are those where the partners respect each other. Respect is always mutual when it is genuine.  One of the couples could start it, but if it is his or her lifestyle, the partner will soon realize the Treasure she is and reciprocate her affection.  Respect can be seen in the way you speak and behave to him.  

6. Be honest:  This is very important in marriage.  Honesty is the base for a trusting relationship. Marriages that last are based on honesty and open communication, with no place for cheating or lying. Your husband deserves honesty and truthfulness from you, just as you do from him.

A virtuous woman - Godly Wife
The beauty of a woman is more in her inner qualities than her physical looks.  There is a "hidden person of the heart" which the woman should also develop to become a better woman.  When a woman renews her mind through the word of God and grow in the spirit, she can think and reason quickly, and her ability to discern good and bad is sharpened.  

It is the eternal qualities of that hidden person that makes a woman beautiful. That counts far more valuable than the attributes of her outward person.  God has wonderfully made women and gave them great gifts.  They will have to develop their spirit-man by renewing their mind through the Word and obey and apply the weird of God in their lives to become a godly and better woman.

A godly woman and wife is one who is determined to serve God in her marriage.  She begins early to learn and cultivate godly virtues of knowing what to say, speaking words of grace, self-discipline, study and meditating on the word, learning to communicate with her husband and others, as well as home management.

How to become a Virtuous Woman

The first step to becoming a virtuous woman is to for the woman to repent of her sins, pray and ask God to forgive her sins and then receive Jesus Christ into her heart as Lord and Saviour.

As you receive Jesus into your heart after the prayer, you ask Jesus to take over your life, guide and direct all the things you shall say and do.  You start by studying the word of God every day and renew your mind with the Word.  As your mind is renewed, so your behaviour will begin to change for better, and before long, the following qualities will become the lifestyle of such a woman.

1. Love for God and the things of God
2. Love for Husband and children
3. Woman of faith
4. Fidelity
5. Submissive
6. Humble
7. Hospitable
8. Hardworking and virtuous
9. Serve the Lord

1. Love for God: 

She loves the Lord and things of God.  This love goes beyond attending meetings and programmes.  It is knowing the truth of God's word and doing it, It is to love righteousness and hate iniquity.  It is seeking first His kingdom and trusting in God.   Mathew 6: 33-34 says “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 

2. Love for Husband and children
The virtuous woman loves the husband and her children.  She submits to her husband and supports him in words and action.  Her industry keeps the family comfortable and warm.  She maintains a healthy friendship with the husband which makes it easy for harmony to reign between them.

3. Woman of faith: Faith is the number one key to deals with the battles of life.  A woman of God should be a woman of faith.  Without faith, we don't even know Him and cannot please Him.  A woman of faith is one that believes the word and promises of God.

Fidelity:  Fidelity is not negotiable for every child of God, as anything other than that will break the unity of the couple in the spirit.  Infidelity brings a curse on the family.  The scriptures say "Let marriage be honourable among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled" - (Hebrews 13:4).  Infidelity destroys everything a woman represent before her husband.  No matter how good and caring a woman may be, the moment the husband discovers she has compromised her dignity with another man, all her good works are eroded.

Submission:  The woman submits to her husband in all things, even as they submit to one another in love.  Apostle Peter says "submissive to their own husbands" and cites the example of Sarah who "obeyed Abraham, calling him lord" —a fact which sometimes evokes laughter in twenty-first-century women.

5 Humility: Humility is a precious virtue of believers who have encountered Jesus Christ.  It makes a woman not to overestimate herself or be carried away by her personal or family success in her relation with her husband and others.  A humble sister will not compare herself with other women, neither will she look-down ot talk down on people.  The bible talks about humble in spirit, which means to be sympathetic, sisterly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit. The lack of the last of those qualities, humility, will mean the lack of all of them, and certainly a lack of any beauty that counts -  1Peter 3:8
6. Inner Beauty:  Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. What it means: Beauty fades with age, so if you are more concerned with your outer appearance, you will be unhappy when the wrinkles come and the number on the scale goes up. The bottom line is that, though a woman should look beautiful, she should also develop her spiritual life and excel in godliness, instead of concentrating on outward adornments.

4. Stay Humble: Be constantly aware of pride and selfishness. Don’t think less of yourself but think of yourself less.  “Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?” declares the LORD. “These are the ones I look on with favour: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” – Isaiah 66:2

5. Serve the Lord: Set your mind on eternal things, serve the eternal King, and live to please only Him.  “He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honour him.” – John 12:25-26


A virtuous woman is a great asset in the hand of God to raise a godly family.  They are the ones God use when a special child is to come into the world.  


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