SUBMISSION........The Secret key that unlocks the heart of Men!



In a relationship, knowledge and commitment are keys to success. Ignorance is dangerous is marriage. Lack of knowledge of fundamental truths about marriage is the cause of many failed marriages.  In God's agenda, the wife is to submit herself under the authority of her husband, and the husband is commanded to love her, give precious things to her, again and again.

Submission from the wife to her husband has a way of bringing out the best part of the man's loving ability.  Even for men who do not know how to love women, they will start asking questions on what to do to make their wives happy, when the woman is found to be loving and submissive.  

The conflict and tension that we see in marriages is because of many people in marriage do not understand their specific roles and the soft skills required to make their marriage sweet. when a woman does not understand the power of submission, she will use physical means to influence her husband.  Physical means will soon meet with obstruction, and trouble starts.

But, a woman that submits to her husband is able to control 85% of all the decisions in the home, no matter who is involved.  She has the ears of the husband, his bank account numbers, she is also the one controlling his companies and businesses, and the man is happy.  Why?  She has become a strategic partner.

It can be funny to see women who struggle with submission and yet they want to influence their husbands and control decisions in the home...NO!.  It does not work that way.  When you submit to your husband and continue in that lifestyle of honour and respect, you will know what selfless love means.

What is Submission

Submission can be defined as the soft support from the wife to the husband when there are contentions.  It is the support you give to your husband when you see that he is passionate about something.  It is your understanding and support of him at difficult times, that assure him that you are solidly behind him, to assist.

Submission is a command from God found in Gen 3:16.  It means to willingly yield leadership and authority to your husband in a marriage arrangement. It is doing what your husband asks you to do. It is to obey the advice or instructions of your husband and do what both of you have agreed, without changing it or abandoning it.  Women who respect and honour their husband eventually get whatever they want from them.  

When there is contention, the woman will see reasons to agree with her husband and move the family forward.  Submission may appear like foolishness to the modern woman, but it is not.  It is indeed in obedience to the commands of God.  

It is biblical wisdom through which women easily wins her husband's unconditional love and affection.  Many daughters of Zion has used the same submission to win their unbelieving husbands to the Lord.  There will be conflicts in the home where the woman refuses to submit to her husband.  It means the home has not effective head and there will be confusions.  

Nature of Submission

One of the first counsel I give young ladies planning to get married is that they marry men they are ready to submit to.  Submission is not negotiable for a peaceful marriage, because it is ordained by God.  It is not for a season, but as a lifestyle, which their daughters would learn from them.  In Ephesians 5: 21-25, Paul was speaking to Christians in Ephesus charged them to: 

1. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.  

2. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

3. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

Paul was advising couples to submit to one another, which was a plea for love and unity in working-out the doctrine of submission. He was asking them to learn how to relate to each other without fixed roles.  The wife submiting to your husband does not mean the woman has to make bed always, wash the man's clothes and cook...NO!

If the couple submits to one another, the man can do practically anything in the house.  The house is theirs and they are serving themselves.   Some men cook certain dishes when they are at home, and when the owner of the house, their wife allow them to cook.  Submission should be done in love!

Submission should be in words and action.  A woman that will submit to her husband in all things must be a humble woman, hard-working, amiable, not proud and arrogant.  Her words to the husband will be seasoned with respect and grace always.  In Ephesians 5:22-24, 34, the woman is asked to:
1. Submit to husbands as to Christ
2. Recognize the headship of Husbands
3. Be subject to husbands, Support and corporate with husbands
4. Wives should reverence their husbands - V34.

Before a woman can submit to her husband, she must be born again, who has made Christ her personal Saviour. Submission is an act of obedience, which comes naturally to a born again Christian.  If you don't know the Lord,  if you don't fear God, there is no way submission can be easy.  But, if she humbles herself under her husband, her action commits God to fight her marital battles for her.

Christian women who are not broken and Word-compliant will find submission hard.  But, if she will believe God for godly love and affection, she will obey her husband, and surely, God will honour her in that marriage.

When there is love, submission is mutual.  A humble sister will remain humble despite worldly. There are many women their next level friends have deceived into rebelling against their husband because she is now a director in her place of work.  That should not be the case, after all, the promotion came from God.  Will a blessing now put the family asunder?  God forbid.

A godly woman will always remember who she is in the Lord and the purpose of God for marriage which should be fulfilled.  She will resist every temptation to fight and get bitter with her husband, persevere tough moment to do the right things.  The is how to submit to husbands and support them to fulfil their destiny and the woman's own destiny in Christ.  Women that do the will of God in marriage precious before the Lord.

How Submission can restore strained marriage

Submission is a key to happiness and joy in the marriage, so when you think the union is shaking or falling apart, here are some of the submissive steps that will unlock the heart of any mam and cause him to love the wife as it was in the beginning.

1. Make peace with your husband, forgive whatever offence he has done against you.  Instead of fighting and quarrelling, report him to God.  Ask God to touch his heart. 

2. Beautify yourself and excite him with your colours again.  Order your speech right and let your behaviour communicate respect and love.

3. Look smart, pretty and attractive to him.  Remember the ways you won his heart, those courteous words, charming looks and smiles.  Bring them back.

4. Don't ever say that your husband or wife does not deserve you.  If you have ever said such negative words, please cancel it and apologize to him or her.  That simple statement means that the devil has sold you to another person, a strange man or woman. 

5. You have to take good care of him and be very nice and appreciative to him, if he offends you report him to God.

6. You have to be patient, loving and less jealous, have more listening ears, be more respectful and obedient.

7. Spend your money for him and don’t get angry even when he refuses to give you money for whatever reasons. 

8. Don’t raise your voice against him, don't compete with him in the house and don't resist him before your children and relatives.  Instead, encourage him, speak peace and love to him.

In reality, it is the conflict and tension in the house that sponsors separation and divorce.  At other times, it is when the woman is too aggressive, or when the man cannot fulfil his obligations as the head of the house.

But, even with lack of money and other inadequacies, if there is submission, the couple will always find a solution to their problems.  You are one, not two people and the bible says 'Whatever the two shall agree concerning anything on earth, it shall be approved by God.  

Unconditional Love - Effect of Submission

I have been in a Hospital when a particular rich man dropped his wife for treatment as he went to the office in the morning.  In the evening, he came back to see how she is doing and possibly go home with her.  But unfortunately, his wife passed on before he came.  He entered the hospital and wanted to go straight to the room where she was lying in the morning, but the Nurses stopped him.  He suspected the wife may have passed, and this huge and tall man started crying openly like a baby in the Hospital.

The cry of this man attracted people to what was happening.  The man began to say that he may not survive the exit of his wife, who have loved him with all her life.  He said he never knew what they call love until he married the wife, he never thought anyone can love another person in such a manner.  He cried bitterly.  Recently, a man was asking for prayer for his sick wife, saying that she is the only person he has on earth.  The secret of these words is submission.

A lot of men has an ego, but no matter how bad the ego maybe, when that man marries a humble and submissive wife, he will put his ego into his pocket whenever he gets home.  Submission is the key that destroys the ego of many men and people will start saying his wife has charmed him.  It's not charm, it is humble submission.


Men are very easy to dominate and control by submissive wives. When you started loving, honouring and cherishing your husband, you will see him change to a nice and sweet husband. They are not wicked as some women think, Many of them respond to their wives according to how the women respect and honour them.  

Men value wives who are supportive of the family, but that role should never make the woman compromise her personality or position.  It is the submission that makes some men call their wives 'mother'.  In the heart of such a man, the wife is his new mother, even if his biological mother is still alive.


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