REASONS WHY PEOPLE MARRY...Wrong Partners and how to overcome the pains



The easiest way for the devil to destroy a child of God is to direct him/her to the wrong person for marriage.  He knows that Christian marriage is till death do you part, and every good Christian will think twice before contemplating divorce.

When the devil packages a wrong woman or man to a child of God, he has dropped a big problem for that person. The moment you marry a wrong person, your destiny is affected in one way or the other.  

Philosophers says anyone you get married to, could of course, be a little bit wrong for you, after-all you don’t expect bliss every day. But, there are couples who have become emotionally detached from each other due to disagreements, and fight over little things that you can see their deep-seated incompatibility.  

A wrong partner means that you are not compatible, with little or no bonds binding both of you.  A wrong partner means that you are in the Light and the other person is in darkness.  This is the worst case of incompatibility.  It is very tough when the two people are not facing or looking in the same direction.

Marriages like that result, when brothers and sisters ignore spiritual due diligence before marriage.  They did not ask the Lord to reveal their partners to them.  So, they assume that because a brother or she is very committed in the church, she is born again and will make a good husband or wife.  

That kind of union turns a born-again brother to a Prayer Warrior overnight, because if you do not become prayerful, you will soon join her in darkness and the years of serving the Lord becomes of no effect.  A wrong partner destroys destiny because the one in darkness will first seek to dominate the one who is in the light, but obviously ignorant.  He or she will seek to dominate you and once that is done, he/she begins to remote-control the person to do his or her bidding.

Beloved, when you wake from your slumber and discover you are sleeping and dining with a wrong person, don't cry or fight with the person.  Seek God for answers to the problem.  He will guide you and if you can remain focused on God, the situation will turn in your favour in the course of time.

Why do people choose the wrong people?

Why do people choose the wrong partner?  The reasons are many.
A lot of the reason is carelessness, assumption and Lust.  To assume that a lady you are seeing in the church will make a good wife is an error.  What about his or her spiritual state?  What about his or her parents and the God they are serving?
These are important questions that should be asked and good answers obtained.  But they are neglected because of Lust.  'She has the shape I love', He is handsome and good looking, some even add that the guy is very clean?

These are some of the reasons why a brother will marry a wonderful sister, so committed in the church, without knowing she attends witchcraft meetings in the night.  Being a witch cancels every other good report she has because darkness and light cannot walk together.

Generally, when people discover they married a lier, they are devastated.  When a woman discovers the husband has children before marriage and she was not informed, she is almost implacable.  The same thing happens to a man.  Women are emotionally destroyed when they get married and discover the man deceived them to believe lies that never existed.  A lady ran out of the church building during her wedding reception when she confirmed her man was a contract staff, and not a staff of the oil company he claimed to be.

I knew a man some years ago, who discovered six months into their marriage that the wife has no womb,  It had been removed through a surgical operation and the lady did not inform him.  The church pleaded with him, the groups and its leaders pleaded with him also, but he could not handle it, the marriage collapsed.  

Given that marital errors are very costly to a person's happiness, it is about the single costliest mistake any of us can make, there are probably only a few issues more important than that of marrying the right spouse, a godly spouse. 

How is it possible to marry the wrong person, with all the Word revelation, and information explosion of this age.  The answer is that many issues in life and marriage are spiritually discerned. Academic achievement and career success have no clue in this matter.  What then are the big reasons why people marry the wrong person.  They include:

1. When people marry, when they are not Ready - When you decide to marry when you are not ready for marriage, it a terrible error in itself.  This is because you have not matured to know that your spouse is not a perfect person, and you are not also. You do not know that one day she will abuse you, speak to you in a way she is not expected to; You do not know that she is grasping with her new position and the duties marriage has laid on her shoulders, and in that state, she may not show understanding and sympathy with you on many issues.  You don't know that when you agreed to marry him or her, you also agreed to accommodate his or her shortcomings.

2. When you don't know yourself:  Sometimes, people do not know who they themselves are.  Some people do not even know their own likes and like not.  They are used to getting along with people and cannot discern what they want in a man or woman.  They believe they can live with any man, or woman, no matter how difficult the person may be.  This a terrible error.

3. Marrying who is Ready: When a woman wants to marry who is ready and not when they love.  This problem is a current reality in Nigeria today.  Some ladies, especially those who think their marriage is getting late, seem to act in some strange ways.  This strange ways is that they would not mind settling down with a man that is not in their original schedule or list of marriage.  

I have counselled some Ladies and when you ask why they want to marry the guy?  You will discover she does not know him very well, they have just met.  Test of compatibility, investigation of facts about him etc have not deen done, yet she is saying this is the man I want to marry, a total stranger because he is ready for marriage.

4. Marriage based on Assumptions:  Marriage is a union of a man and his woman, leaving their own parents to cleave to each other to form a new family.  It is not in a marriage that you assume anything...NO!.  Find out the truth about anything that is important to you, investigate it and be sure. Love cannot be assumed because you have been dating for long.   Ensure the man or woman is truly in love with you and only you.  Ensure when you stay together for a week, you will not irritate yourselves.

5. Ensure Compatibility:  Marriages are not a strategy way out of a difficult situation at home.  You cannot think that when you marry and leave your parents, their trouble will not concern you again, NO!.  If there be any family problem, after your marriage you are then expected to contribute to the solution. Any marriage consummated on the basis of running away from the family problem will not have the staying power to survive storms.

A happy-ever-after marriage requires a union of two committed adults who love each other deeply, unselfishly, and respectfully.  Who are conscious of their duties and responsibilities in the union and they do it to the best of their individual knowledge.

6. Money:  Money is good in a family, but to marry a man or woman because he is rich is a disaster waiting to happen.  Don't you know the money can develop wings and fly away from the person for sometimes and even forever?  Marry for love and compatibility, marry our best friend.  If you are matured, then put your man or woman to some basic tests that show he is in love with you.  Never assume that someone loves you.

Marital errors are not easy to handle.  It does not allow the best of a man or woman to manifest in the little and big things of life.  If your spouse is not your destiny helper, there is a problem and those who marry for money, will surely pay for it later.  Money cannot solve all the problems of marriage, especially when the two people are strong-willed.  Everyone hoping to enjoy his or her marriage should approach it with care.
How to Handle Wrong marriage

Marital errors require the wisdom of God to resolve. There are no small marital problems, but certainly, the worst case is when the couples are not compatible, and when they are not both in the Lord.  One person in the Light and the other person in darkness _ The other person being an agent of Satan, a Witch, warlock or occultist.

Jacob was given a wrong wife after seven years of toil, he did not even look at the face of the woman they gave to him, only for him to behold in the morning that she was the wrong person.  He did not kill his father-in-law, neither did he divorce the woman parcelled to him.  He asked his father-in-law why he acted that way, and the man answered him, explaining what their culture demanded.

Jacob asked if there was any remedy and he was asked to serve again for the second daughter and she will be released to him, and he accepted.  So, when you stand face to face with an error, know that's not the end of life.  God is trying to tell you something.  In the case of Jacob, he did not know he would become Israel, a whole nation and that every child God would give him counts. 

Simple Steps to regaining your Peace:
1. Understand what is wrong with both of you.
2. Take the marriage to the Cross and be crucified there yourself.
3. Pray inquiry prayers to know the mind of God for the marriage.
4. Hand-over the marriage to God and let the Holy Ghost guide your actions.
5. Work on yourself until you become selfless.
6. Don't just give up, it may be your own cross, it will not kill you.
7. As you carry the cross and follow Him, He will remove it one day.
8. Love and honour your spouse selflessly without bitterness, no Abuse.
9. Have faith in God and His ability to turn things around for you.
10. Confess openly what you want to see happen in the marriage.
11. Don't compare your spouse or marriage with any other one.


There is an old saying that 'If you want to live long, ask for a good wife'. A good wife can help a man get to his peak in life.  The opposite is also true. Every care should be taken to ascertain genuine love exists before marriage.  This is because marriage has its own unique problems that the couple must handle.

There are couples you see and you begin to think that think the love that brought them together is gone, but you may be wrong.  What you are seeing is their reaction to failed expectation, hope and promises.  These are couples the word of God and good counsel can revive their hope again.

Marriage should not be done in a haste, its a life journey.  So, get prepared and walk that path with your best friend, with the Lord as the head of your Team and all shall be well. 


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