LOVE AND JOY IN MARRIAGE......How the two can walk together as one


One of the greatest sources of human joy and happiness is found in the union between a man and his wife in a love relationship.  Funny enough, marriage also produces one of the greatest emotional pain any man or woman can experience on earth.  That pain begins the day one of the two people in marriage discovers that his spouse is cheating on him or her.

Today, many are wondering if there is anything called love in marriage.  Among the Christians, the way and manner, people who are expected to observe and live by the word of God dispense their marriage is becoming a surprise to many.  But, the reason for the explosive rate of divorce can be found in the opening of this message.

The enemy of man hates to see the man and his wife happy and joyous, and so he fights the marriage, in other to destroy society.  The discovery of infidelity put the marriage in so much stress, fear, disillusionment and mistrust, which leads to the failure of many marriages.  This is why we must continually pray for our spouses, especially when all to be going well.  We must never be ignorant of the devices of the enemy against the man, woman and the family.

Image result for happy couples

Cleaving Together

The kind of love, which the Lord planned for man in marriage is such that you are practically glued to your spouse and sees him or her as yourself.  In which case, you are incapable of hurting him or her, you are one, and no difference.  

Such a love experience is a cord that nobody can easily break, not your parents, not to mention friends.  It is expected that when you get married, you both have sold yourselves to each to hold and keep by the power of God, so there is no provision for divorce.  You are meant for each other for life.

Some couples have experienced this wonderful drama, and some are enjoying it right now, but remember it takes love, trust, faith and commitment to build such a relationship.  You have to be able to make a bold statement to friends and relatives that you are married to your better half.

It takes faith to make such a statement, and it is also a huge risk at the same time, but that's what you have to do to enjoy a sweet marriage here on earth.  Choose to trust your spouse and pray for God continuous guidance of both of you.  None of you should hide anything from each other, and none of you should play with sin or tempt the devil.

No one makes such a huge investment in a God-ordained marriage and regrets it.  When you do that, you must also be persuaded by the word of God to obey and live by it.  Trust the Lord and commit the marriage into His hands and He will honour your faith.

Failure to Cleave
Whenever a marriage fails, it leaves behind victims in pain, resentment and bitterness.  I have discovered in my many years of marriage and counselling others, that a major reason for the break-ups, is the inability of the couples to walk together as one.  Christians going into marriage should never forget what the Lord said "That for this course, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one - Gen 2:24

Couples that miss this first command concerning marriage will always have issues with living together.  Imagine that you have left your parents and refuse to cleave to your spouse, what will you get crisis!  

How can you leave your parents and enter a new house to build your own family, but instead of cooperating with your spouse, you want to live independent of him or her?  How can you leave your parents and be married to a man, yet you are still answering your father's name?  

How can you leave your parents and instead of joining with your spouse, you are still receiving instructions from your parents on what you should do and do not?  All these are very strong influences on the unity os a marriage that works against it.

For children of God, there is no activism in marriage, because it is God-ordained arrangement with rule and obligations well spelt out.  The ordinances of marriage are part of the laws of God, that His children do not question or argue with.  

There is no Activism in Marriage
But, due to ignorance, we still see Christian sisters claiming one right or another in a marriage that is their own.  The woman is the home builder, she is in charge at home and controls 75% of decisions at home, even if her husband is the President, yet she is claiming rights and find it difficult to submit to her husband.  

This is what happens when the sister is yet to submit to the Lord and yield to His word, to obey what the Word says.  Little do such sisters know that every such claim will distance them from them, husbands, emotionally and later physically.  

Such activist sisters never enjoy their marriage, they soon develop anger and a feeling of being in bondage, if the spouse cautions them to be different.  In most cases, their resentment, activism combining with wrong advice from friends brings the marriage to a standstill.  

This is why many women achievers, celebrities, sportswomen and famous daughters of rich people hardly survive marriage.  They want to be married to a man but refuse to submit to the man's authority.  Some want to live their singles lifestyle in their matrimonial home. Walking and dressing like the world, have the freedom to anything, without restriction...NO! it does not work that way. 

In Christian marriage, when a woman gets married, her name changes, her attitude and behaviour changes also as she prepares to start raising children of her own.  Having said that, marriage is not bondage. it is an adventure nurtured in love, mutual love and respect, trust and hope.  Marriage requires tolerance and patience.  The couples should know themselves, their areas of weaknesses and strength, and work together in love.  

The key to working and walking together in agreement, they must agree with each other, to walk together as one. They must also be one in the spirit, otherwise, they cannot walk together as one physically.  This is why a believer should marry another born again believer so that they can be one in the spirit and be able to walk together as one in the physical.  Light and darkness can never live together for long.  Only a worldly brother can cope with a worldly sister and vice versa.

Where are all these headed?  Where do we go from here?  Let us closely examine some key scriptures about marriage and divorce. 


1. Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

2. Matthew 19:4-6 - He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

3. Ephesians 5:25-33 - Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

4. 1 Peter 3:1 - Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

5. 1 Corinthians 7:39 - A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

What the bible says about Divorce

1. Luke 16:18 - “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

2. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 - To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

3. 1 Corinthians 7:15 - But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

4. Matthew 5:32 - But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

5. Mark 10:11 - And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her,
6. Matthew 19:9 - And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

7. Mark 10:12 - And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

8. Matthew 19:8 - He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so.

9. Malachi 2:16 - “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

10. Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

11. 1 Corinthians 7:10 - To the married, I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband

In spite of all the many divorce cases, marriage is of God, and everything ordained by God is good and for the benefit of man.  The failures we are witnessing is as a result of our inability to abide by the Word of the Lord and walk in it.  

Worldliness and people's desire to live without control is part of the reasons for divorce, but if we will return to the Lord and repent, such a Christian will enjoy his or her marriage.

Marriage is good.


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