BECOMING A GOOD NEIGHBOUR.....Rebuke a Naughty neighbour, sin not!

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Child of God:
  • Love your neighbour, though they be poor
  • Take your eyes off your Neighbours wife!
  • Resist temptation from Naughty neighbours


Neighbours can be a source of blessing in many ways. When you have a good neighbour that is at peace with you, count yourself blessed. One thing they do is to recommend you for business, appointment and even marriage.  I have seen a few good marriages recommended by friendly neighbours. 

Good neighbours are a great source of inspiration for extroverts who love to socialize. At the same time, some neighbours can be difficult, proud and arrogant.  A bad neighbour can be a serious nightmare for a child of God to manage, but you have to learn to appreciate him and live peacefully with him.

This message is aimed at helping you overcome sexual temptation from neighbours.  Handsome men and pretty ladies are continually tempted by people in their neighbourhood for love relationship, and young men and ladies should know how to resist such temptations because their lives and destiny are involved.

Men who want to go far in life must be careful with the opposite sex generally.  they should know how to take his eyes off their neighbour's wives, their female colleagues and business partners.  Never allow sex and other pleasures of life dominate your thinking, if you allow that, you are spiritually 'pricing your destiny'. Men and women who chose to play with the opposite sex always, thinking they are 'strong' to resist them will always fail.  Whoever tempts the devil will receive shame. Only Jesus can defeat the devil, not human wisdom!

A matured Christian have no problem living next door to anyone.  Why? His duty to his neighbours are clearly spelt-out in his heart - Love your neighbours as yourself, pray for your neighbours, protect the interest of your neighbours and make all effort to live at peace with them. I want to look at neighbours at home and office.

Wrong Signal, potential danger!
There are actions you can take that will make your neighbour suspect your intention.  As a child of God, single brother, you should know that when you take a lady out often, she could take your kindness for interest...which is a normal expectation, but if you are not interested in her, or if you are not ready for marriage, why take her out all the time.  This is very provocative to women.

You are responsible for your actions, and it is wrong to make a lady feel dumped, even though you never slept with her.  If you had a close relationship with her and later just withdraw, she could feel that way.  Are you a good neighbour to her? Is that the best you can do? NO! 

The Spiritual Importance of Neighbours
Can I say that no person that want to go to heaven can afford to neglect his relationship with neighbours?  Neighbours here include colleagues, business associates and those living in the same compound with you. These neighbours are among the witnesses watching you and they are the people unto whom your light as a child of God should shine unto.

Apart from your family, your neighbours are your next community of importance for a child of God.  Some of them may be difficult and arrogant, but you have to love them,  Some of them may not like your face, yet your obligation towards them remains intact. The bible admonished us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers...including your neighbours.  If you are treated with disdain, respond with love. If they reject you, you have a duty to accept them.

Beloved, I wish you can see that a difficult relationship with a neighbour can hinder some people from seeing the Lord.  For instance, if you live among the poor and needy neighbours, and the Lord has blessed you, then the Lord planted you in their midst for a purpose, to help them and uplift the lives of those you can.  When you do that, the glory will not go to you, but to God,  The poor people will thank you, but when they kneel to pray to God, they will thank and rejoice in the Lord for sending them help. 

What to do when a neighbour admires you?
Love your neighbour means to show him the love of God, pray for him and his progress, have a warm and friendly relationship with them and fulfil your obligation to the community - The house or Estate where you live.  

But it is not so for young men Bachelors moving into the house, especially where the houses are few and the compound close-knit. It does not take two weeks for a bachelor to start admiring the ladies and women in the compound and vice versa. So, what do you do when your neighbour is interested in having an affair with you. What do you do to stop him/her from putting unnecessary pressure on you?  Simple solution - PREACH THE WORD OF GOD TO HIM!

Preach the Word to him/her, win her for Christ
If you are born again Christian that a woman in your office or at the place where you live is admiring, you are not in any trouble at all.  One simple solution is to preach Christ to that woman or girl and invite her to your Church and the spirit of lust disturbing her will leave her alone.

In the office, business place or at home.  It requires the same approach - Preach the gospel to that woman or lady and win her for Christ.  Lead her to Christ and then invite her to your church and let the demon leave her.  If you can share your faith with her and possibly lead her to Christ, then hand her over to the church discipleship and training team, the demon of lust will leave her.

This is the cause of infidelity ravaging homes today.  I remember joining an office some years back to meet a lady who so much admire me and value my company that within one month of my joining the establishment, there was gossip everywhere that we were dating, which was not true. I tried to discourage her closeness saying I am married, but she will not stay off and then, I did not know the right response, the truth I am sharing with readers today.

That was the spirit of lust at work, and I did not know it.  It took me months to wriggle myself out of the embarrassing situation. I will have to speak to friends that there was nothing happening between us, and they will always say "why is she always entering your office, and why must she greet you before she goes home"?  

Discourage and stop some specific actions

If you find yourself in such a mess, you have to specifically discourage some of the actions of the lady that raises suspicion and if you insist, she will adjust, and the demon disturbing her will leave. Stop going out for lunch with her, avoid driving her home after work - close earlier or later, whichever is suitable per time, until she gets the message you are trying to pass to her.

The spirit of Lust that attracts people to themselves is a stubborn spirit and requires strong resistance to overcome. What happens is that people meet themselves in the same compound or office and if the spirit of lust is present in the life of the man or the woman, within weeks or months, the spirit will cause them to relate so closely and share personal matters together.  

Types of Neighbours - Real life experiences:
Having known that there is a power behind the married woman neighbour that is admiring and trying to seduce you, you should be better prepared to know what to do. I still can't understand why a Christian cannot rebuke a foul spirit, a demon and the demon will leave.

Brothers and sisters, learn how to exercise your authority in Christ each time you are face to face with a demonic spirit.  It will make life easy for you and your Christianity sweet.  There can be as many categorization of neighbour as people behave and relate to others.  But I will discuss three categories of neighbours and what you should do when you observe nonsense moves around you. I experience it too, and I will quickly caution those girls to focus on their future, as I don't need idle compliments. Some should actually go for deliverance, so the demon will leave them.

1. Arrogant neighbours - A young writes from the USA:  I am wondering what is the best way to deal with an arrogant next-door neighbour. He and his wife are overly confident DINKS (double income, no kids), and any and every contact with them in the neighbourhood is so annoying.

2. Seductive Neighbours: - I moved into this neighbourhood just recently. It's a small gated compound with just two flats. The other flat is occupied by a newly wedded couple. I had taken one week off from the office to enable me to move my things and settle.

The few days I have stayed at home have been full of temptation because I have noticed to my dismay that this lady wears very skimpy and offensive stuff outside their flat and doesn't even carry herself as a married woman.

Now my question is: should I call the man and talk to him about the noise and all, or should I keep my peace and suffer in silence?

3. Friendly Neighbours
There are friendly neighbours who are like blood relatives in many ways.  You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your neighbours. If you are lucky, you have good neighbours. But some neighbours are not pleasant and can make your life miserable at times. If you have good neighbours, consider yourself blessed. 

A good neighbour is friendly and considerate. They respect your privacy and only come into your house when there is need. They support the well being of the community, protects the interest of others. 

What to do - BACHELORS!
If you are a bachelor facing temptation from the opposite sex at home or office, try these steps and you should be fine.  The easier step to take is for you to take your eyes off the opposite sex that is not your wife...then rebuke the woman trying to seduce you.

Rebuke her sharply and if she continues, you should preach the good news to her. Let her give her life to Christ and the veil of lust covering her eyes will fall off her.  But, if she will not repent, be careful with your gentleman behaviour, the devil does not respect anyone, he respects authority and fire!

Avoid Tempting Situations
Having victory over a charming lady that is determined to pull you down through sexual immorality will be to staying away from her traps. The last thing you want to do is find yourself alone with the object of your unhealthy desires, whether it is images or actual people. 

If contact with that person is a must, then make sure it is always in a public space and others are around. Set boundaries and maintain it.

Consider The Consequences
Consider seriously the implication of your fall spiritually and physically. Pondering the consequences of your action. Is it going to help or hurt your self-image and reputation as a born again Christian?  What about your future, will it work against your marriage in the future?  IT WILL! 

For married couples, you have to consider the implication of a strange relationship on your marriage. How would your wife respond if she knew? Think about where your actions can lead and then imagine your wife finding out. Do you want to deal with the fallout? Always think of the end game. Where do you want to be? Are your thoughts and actions leading you there?

Rebuke the Woman
Take a firm position never to compromise your faith in Christ or betray the confidence of your neighbour, whose wife is secretly seducing by REBUKING THE WOMAN SHARPLY.

Do not tolerate secret conversation, text messages and platonic relationship with another man's wife...your life may be involved. Prove to yourself that you have self-discipline and can keep your body under check. No single lady or woman should mess around with your faith.

Consistent Prayer
Prayer is the act of communicating your thoughts, worries, hopes and dreams to God. Lift up the desires you are feeling and ask for help. God made you and knows you and can deliver you time and time again.

Choose Your Friends Wisely
Identify the loophole the man or woman is using to get close to you and block it. Change your itinerary and other steps that will free you from that person.  When battling sexual temptation, there are plenty of people we can find that will encourage and enable it. You can still be their friend, but by all means, avoid joining them in their poor relational choices.

Keep High Standards
To be a gentleman is a choice. A very good choice, and this world today needs many more. Despite the vast amount of temptations that life throws our way, we should hold ourselves to the highest of moral standards. Self-discipline in all areas of our life leads to positive results.

Redirect Your Passion
Rather than being controlled by untamed lust, direct that passion in positive directions. Use that energy to brainstorm about ways you can bless your wife. Perhaps focus on things that will make the world better like volunteering at a homeless shelter. Coach a youth sports team. Mentor troubled individuals.


Infidelity, which is the action of being unfaithful to a spouse, is probably as old as marriage itself. It is today, the number cause of divorce everywhere on earth.  The question is how should a married man or woman react to love admiration by a neighbour, colleague or close friend.  These tempters know the man or woman is married and sometimes with children.

Let your spouse know what is going on: For people who are genuinely not interested in extramarital affairs, experts say when they start liking someone of the opposite sex, or when someone of the opposite sex starts getting too close or sending questionable signals, they should inform their spouse about it. This, they said, would put them in check. 

 “The best thing is to tell your partner yourself, there is no need hiding it and don’t wait till they find out; openness is very important,” he added. Also,  confiding in a partner that there is such a possibility lurking around the corner might be a difficult strategy, but it helps. He said, “No one is saying it’s easy to admit to your partner that you are tempted by (not merely attracted to) another person, but if you feel yourself succumbing to the temptation, then it is likely to hurt your partner one way or the other—but the pain will certainly be less if you tell him or her when it’s just temptation and not after it’s a fait accompli. 

Walk away from that Tempter One other way to stay faithful to a partner is to avoid the source of the temptation (the individual), because constant contact would likely increase the pressure on the person’s resolve, which is usually, naturally limited. “Once you realize that you have a soft spot for someone of the opposite sex, the best thing is to keep away as much as possible from that individual.”

Also, using an illustration, White said people in such a situation should avoid such a person the same way alcoholics avoid bars and dieters avoid bakeries. He added, “Unless you are a celebrity or a politician, the source of temptation is usually one particular person, which, in theory, should make it easier to avoid temptation. But in reality, that person is likely someone who is hard to avoid, such as a co-worker, customer, client, neighbour or friend. Nonetheless, do the best you can to avoid them, especially in private, and don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can be alone with this person if you know in your heart that you can’t.”

Remember who you are:
You are a born again Christian and your body is not for sexual immorality.  You have been bought by the blood of Jesus Christ, called out from the kingdom of darkness unto the marvellous light of Jesus Christ.

Consider the consequences: Given the common saying that betrayal of trust is hard to repair, perhaps one good way married persons can overcome temptation to cheat on their spouse is the harm it could to do to their partner, the relationship, their children, image, sexual health – in terms of sexually transmitted diseases – and even any child (in case) that could result from such a relationship. 

Tell yourself it must not happen: 

It is possible to do in many cases, and even when the closeness is excess, you can still withdraw yourself from the woman.  Every man should remember that it is just natural to be tempted, and temptation will not stop soon.  So, its your responsibility to fashion out how to respond. It’s your responsibility, to yourself as well as your partner, to resist temptation,” 

Follow the advice of your spouse: Findings have shown that talking to a friend, counsellor, religious leader, or anyone who knows better could help. This is because they could have passed through such or they could know a better way to deal with it, and this should be done before ‘anything’ happens and not after, because once it has happened before, it might happen again. 

Confide in your partner if ‘anything’ happens: This might be a hard step to take, especially with the usual feeling that such things are better kept in the secret. But, according to experts, this could be dangerous, because not only would it give the person the freedom to do it again, since no one found out about the last one, but also that it would be more difficult to deal with if the partner finds out on their own. 

Close the relationship: Beyond avoiding the person, people who are having soft spot for an opposite-sex are also advised not to meet with them in lonely places. Close the relationship if you can, but if he is a colleague or neighbour, let your communication be official and at arm's length. Avoid every unnecessary contact that may bring rebuke. “If it’s unnecessary, avoid meeting with the person where something might happen. For example, let us assume that a co-worker is supposed to meet with the individual in a hotel, he could go with the wife. If the person knows that the partner is around, she’s more likely to be more restrained. 

What to Do:

In conclusion, we have to apply the word of God in dealing with sexual temptations.  The bible says you should flee, there is no alternative to fleeing.  For many years, I will tell young people to take their eyes off the opposite sex that is not their wive, and when you are ready to marry, be diligent to find your own wife.  I pray for you, that you will not make mistake in marriage.


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