How to Handle Loneliness........Two is better than one, why should you be lonely?

Vanity of Selfish Toils...
Ecclesiastes 4:

We are looking at the discoveries of King Solomon recorded in Ecclesiates chapter 4 and related issues. He observed alot of things including loneliness.

Talking about loneliness, you can be surrounded by people 24/7 and still feel lonely, but the Bible says we are never alone if we believe. God is always there for us no matter what. He stands by our side, even when we cannot feel Him. 

As people, we just want to feel loved, and when we don't feel loved we can make some bad decisions. Yet, if we look to God to feel that love, we will always find it and know we are not alone.

Though marriage is not the topic of discussion now, but the oppression Solomon saw on the earth. The fact that every skillful person is being envied, while fools fold their hand, probably waiting for someone to feed them. The need for Sisters to acquire family skills early and seek marriage was also mentioned by the wise King.

He says, "Then I returned and considered all the oppression that is done under the sun: And look! The tears of the oppressed, But they have no comforter —  On the side of their oppressors there is power, But they have no comforter".

Therefore I praised the dead who were already dead, More than the living who are still alive.  Yet, better than both is he who has never existed, Who has not seen the evil work that is done under the sun. 

Contentment and Envy -  Again, I saw that for all toil and every skilful work a man is envied by his neighbour. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind.  The fool folds his hands and consumes his own flesh. Better is a handful with quietness.  This expression talks about contentment and the topic of contentment would never register in a person's heart until you encounter someone like you, in every way and yet very successful and such a person is a young friend.

He saw on earth that every skilful man is envied by his neighbours. The funny part of this secret of King Solomon is that those envious neighbours all pretend to be your friend, alas they are envious friends and many times enemies in disguise. Envy and contentment are tested in a person when he has friends, neighbour and others close to him, who are doing very well and his countenance and thoughts towards them are not changed.

For the benefit of those who may not be aware, envy and jealousy is the first step to witchcraft.  We may be equal before God, but on earth, men are in classes, our skills and endowments are also different and so our result. If a child of God is envious of another person, that child of God does not know God or His word.

Every born again Christian should be content with the blessing of God upon his/her life and never compare himself with another man, whom you do not know the sources of their wealth. One thing is clear, wealth that is from the devil is with much sorrow. Why should you envy a man that is in pains and sorrow, just because you see him in wealth?  Many of them hardly smile, ever serious, and hardly at home with their family.

The man you are envying is secretly envying your own peace of mind, the fact that you can praise and worship in your house and celebrate with the little you have. This is the irony of life. So you must be content with the blessings of God over your life while working hard and praying hard to your desired new level.

Two are better than one
He considered loneliness and its effect on people and advised that two is better than one.  He says - Because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 

Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

Christian Sisters should seek marriage from the Lord early in life.  They should also acquire family skills like cooking quality food, care giving and quite time and fervent praying early in life for marriage

What is Loneliness

There is a difference between being alone and loneliness. Alone means you are by yourself in a physical sense. There is no one there with you. It can be a good thing when you want some peace and quietness.

Loneliness is an experience that can be felt when we're alone and knows that nobody is coming around you for sometimes or even for whenever. Or when you are surrounded by people you have no intimate relationship with.  This happens when the people that surrounds you are not close enough to you.  You don't know them closely and there is no intimacy between you and them. What happens to you and what you are passing through is not their business. 

The other type of loneliness is emotional loneliness.  When you need a life partner that should help you in many areas of life and bring comfort to you.  If you are a man that wants to marry, no girlfriend can satisfy you. Why?  She is not your wife!  

She could be another man's best friend or even fiance.  There are many things a wife would happily do for you that she is not obliged to do. It is the same for women.  When a lady wants to marry, she can never waste her time with men who are not ready for marriage.  No matter the compliment about her beauty or shape etc, all that trash will only annoy her.

How to Handle Loneliness

Connect to God through His Word
Everyone experiences loneliness at a point in time. It's almost like a natural feeling. Yet, we often forget the proper response to feeling lonely, which is to turn to God. God is always there. He understands our need for friendship and fellowship. 

So when you're sad and lonely, or when you feel so alone, remember that you are called to connect people with God. Connect with God through reading Scripture, praying, participating in worship and communion.  When loneliness starts to creep in on us, we need to first turn to God. He gets it. He can be our comfort in those transition times. If we devote more time studying the bible and learning more of Him, we will be shocked to discover the solution to our problem from the same bible we have been carrying for years. There is a spiritual law that says "if we acquaint ourselves with the Word of God, we will discover hidden secrets we never knew".

Turning to God from ourselves during the moments of loneliness will not only restore us, but it will endue us with spiritual strength and energy. Loneliness can just be compounded by always thinking of ourselves first. But, if you can open yourself up to the Word of God and seek a divine solution to the problem you have, the Lord will speak to you.  Studying His Word and meditating on them is like a visitation to the Father of Lights, your darkness disappears. 

King David in the bible experienced loneliness

King David experienced moments of loneliness. He had times when he was being hunted by his own son and had to leave his throne and wives and ran away.  Many of his Psalms were referring to his lonely conditioned, and as always, King David will plead with the Lord for mercy.  In Psalm 25:16-21 , he pleaded with God, saying - "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you." 

Jesus, too, experienced loneliness when he was being persecuted and placed on a cross. At the point of death, He felt God had abandoned him. His most faithful followers abandoned him in his hour of need. The people who followed him and loved him before he was crucified were no longer there for him. He knew exactly what it felt like to be alone, and so He knows exactly what we go through when we feel loneliness.  In Matthew 27:46, the bible recorded His loud cry unto the Father - "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, 'Eli, Eli, lemasabachthani?' - which means  'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'

Connect to fellow believers
Connecting with fellow believers includes attending worship services on a regular basis, participating in a Sunday school class Bible study or small group, enjoying times of fellowship, and serving alongside others at events or out in the community. I recommend you look for a group that is active and have weekly activities that include studying the Word, praying and witnessing Christ to others.

Serve in the Church (Full time, part-time, Temporary)
One of the best ways to beat loneliness and even temporary job stoppage is to volunteer your time to help in the church.  There will be administrative issues you can help your church Pastor or administrator strengthen out. While looking for a new job on holidays etc, serving God in the Vineyard at such times brings a lot of blessing and favour to us.  So, get involved in what your church is doing, planning and help them.


God’s people are not exempt from the pain of loneliness. Prophet Jeremiah also experienced it.   In the case of Prophet Jeremiah, the Lord told him not to marry. He had few friends. Scholars refer to Jeremiah as the “weeping prophet,” and Jeremiah chapter 15 captured the prophet lamenting to God about his loneliness, unending pain, and suffering. 

1. Despite his pain, Jeremiah trusted the Lord and followed God’s calling for his life. Consider the following scriptures about Loneliness, and I hope they will encourage your heart:

2. Psalm 62:8 - "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us." 

3. Deuteronomy 31:6 - "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

4. Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

5. Deuteronomy 31:6 - Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

6. 1 Peter 5:7 - Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

7. Psalm 23:4 - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

8. Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

9. Psalm 62:8 - Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah

10. 1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

11. Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Thanks for visiting Fireinthebone


Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post