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ANGER, TENSION...........As Office Romance, Lust and Greed Tearing families Apart!

  


The alarming rate of office romance going on today around the world is simply shameful, especially for those who are born again children of God.  I don't know how people can justify their unfaithfulness to God and their spouse.  What reason will a child of God advance for keeping an extra marital relationship in the place of work, which they now call 'office husband or office wife'?

Everyone entering marriage should know their faithfulness, love and obedience to the word of God will surely be tested, and the devil uses people close to you and things you are lusting for.  The matter becomes a hard battle when you get married and yet retain in your phones, pictures, contact and conversations of your former relationships. It means such a guy or young lady does not yet understand what marriage is.

This is why I pray for some of our married sisters, who continues to dress and behave as though they are single, many years after marriage. Such sisters are joking, tempting the devil will surely pull the marriage down.  This is where lust and greed comes in.  Why keep the contact or picture of your former lovers? Is that wisdom - NO!

Today, many marriages are sick to the point of comatose because of errors like these.  These are worldly behaviours which a born again child of God has no business with. Young couples need time to build trust and their homes without much interference from anyone. You need time to build time-tested virtues of happy co-habitation - living together, faithfulness and humble submission one to another, which the scriptures advised.

Marriage is a critical juncture in life, where the devil wait for people with glorious destiny to mislead them into wrong partners. Many who have made their mark in life, intelligent and successful people has been leveled and brought low due to wrong marital choices.

What is office romance?

OFFICE ROMANCE:
This is a simply relationship with a colleague in the office. It is common with spinsters and bachelors who think maybe they can meet their love in the office or those who just cannot control their emotions.  It becomes a worrisome matter when married people are involved. when married men or women abandons their spouse for the man or lady they met in the office, the effect of such relationship, no matter how they cover it, will affect their marriages and relationship at home. It leads to separation, divorce or even untimely death.  

Office romance has its price, apart from destroying the home. It causes low productivity and waters-down the authority of a compromising officer over the subordinates. If you are the manager and happen to misbehave with your subordinate, you loose your authority in that office, as your other workers will easily question your judgement. 

The devil deceive people to think that their colleagues appreciate them more than their spouses, instead of solving their problem at home and growing in their maturity, they 'run' to their colleagues and office confidants for help, which opens them up to more trouble. 

Though office romance may not be the only reason for the many separations and divorces we are seeing in marriage today, it has contributed to it or worsened the menace.  


HOW DOES IT START

In a lot of ways and for many varied reasons, people become drawn to each other in the work place. Some guys will just start greeting and complimenting a married woman/lady, telling her how beautiful she looks.  This behavior is continued until it permeates the lady’s heart and she begins to pay attention to the guy.

Married ladies should ignore these useless compliments and focus on their duties. Office affair divides the love and affection in marriage. It causes people to leave home early in the morning and return very late at night on the excuse of overtime or work overload.

REASONS FOR OFFICE ROMANCE

There are many factors responsible for this unhealthy behaviour, but the truth is that most women who do this does not understand their responsibility in marriage. Marriage is a union and not a joining together that leaves any part wholly or partly independent.

After marriage, the lady’s body is not her own alone, but that of  the husband also.  Some of the reasons advanced by women are funny. Here are some of them:

1. Some women have high sexual drive which their husband cannot meet up with. From where did they get the high sexual drive? - some of them are exposured to blue films and pornography. .After hiding to watch those crazy drug propelled women, without any value for their body, they want to practice same at home. Sister/madam, you will kill your husband!

2. Other women are doing it. hmnnn.  Is that an excuse for a believer in Christ? Should you follow the multitude to do evil...NO.  Where is the fear of God that restrains people?

What are the other reasons?

3. They stay long hours in the office, get familiar and share information and jokes. Marriage is for matured in heart and the skills to 'ward-off' intruders is one of the early signs that a young person is ready for marriage.  You need discipline, self restraint and strict border line you must not cross or allow friends to cross in relationship in the office and elsewhere.  

4. To get promotion in a competitive and highly rewarding environment.

5. Frustration in their marriage - These category of women discuss their marriage freely with some colleagues who pretend to care about them and even love them more than their husbands. These fake compliments and relationship eventually work against the marriage of the lady.

A believer working in the office either within or outside his state, should realize the burden of trust and responsibility God and marriage placed on them.  

Without knowing some of these basics, and being guided by them, a lot of ladies carry on with their 'spinster jackets' years after marriage, relating with the opposite sex, colleagues and male friends as though marriage has no rules and motherhood means nothing.  

The Word of God restrain us from many worldly desires and behaviour and focus our mind on the right things. All the talk of high sexual drive would be curtailed as they are caused by things we choose to expose ourselves to. All the lack of interest in sex, low libido, unnecessary use of sexually motivating drugs and drinks will be a thing of the past. Also, with God in a marriage, couples will jointly and honestly address any sexual difficulties that come the way of their joy in marriage.
  
Any one going into marriage as a Christian should know that marriage is responsibility and not a child’s play.  Marriage is a place to fulfill God’s plan for your life and that of your family. Any one going into marriage should also know that marriage is built on God’s Word, love and trust.

If God is not in your marriage, then Tom, dick and Harry will manipulate and influence the marriage and eventually destroy it. But, if God be in your marriage, by this I mean that both of you have given your heart to Jesus Christ, then the fear of God will guide you.

Love and trust are basic to any successful union. This trust must never be broken as it could bring the relationship to an end. Some people find it difficult to forgive their unfaithful partners, while some think their unfaithful partners cannot change. All these bring strife which eventually bring separation or divorce. Because trust takes time to build, and it strengthens the love among couples, I will suggest the following helpful tips and  guidelines for young people.

SIMPLE ADVICE TO MARRIED WOMEN

Let our sisters take note of the following: 

1."Take your eyes off the opposite sex that is not your spouse!
2. Avoid unnecessary body contact with the opposite sex, not your spouse
3. Don't discuss your marriage with any third party including colleaques.
4. Make a vow of CHASTITY with God
5. Handle your body with honour
6. Commit yourself to the success of your marriage.
7. No scanty dressing, No seductive appearance.

DANGERS OF OFFICE ROMANCE:
1. Loss of employment.
2. Loss of respect among colleagues.
3. Moral burden and betrayal of trust.
4. Conflict of interest issues.
5. Loss of authority.
6. The integrity question - Colleagues will start questioning your judgement in certain matters, thinking you are biased.
7. Misconduct: I witnessed one  among fresh recruits in a bank in Lagos some years ago, that led to the sack of the two randy employees. 

HOW TO AVOID OFFICE ROMANCE

1. Any woman that discusses her family issues to colleagues will one day regret it. STOP IT NOW. Every family has issue, why discuss your husband with small boys in your office who are not even up to your husband?. You are not doing well.
2. Avoid over familiarity with colleagues.
3. Avoid unnecessary play and body contact.
4. If you must discuss your marital challenges, let it be with trusted married women for ladies and married man for men. Never with an opposite sex as it may serve as invitation to dialogue.
5. Be professional, focus on your duties. Take your eyes off the opposite sex.
6. Start no mutual friendship that will build excitement between you and a married man or woman.
7. Resist every demonic instincts and impulse. Fear God in all you do in the office.
8. Don't lust for evil things in your heart. Trust in the Lord for your promotion and work hard.
9. Never you take advantage of peoples challenges to exploit them.

CONCLUSION:

Beloved, love and commitment are keys to happy marriage.  Love develops and grows which it is nourished.  For ladies, it is important that you marry a man you love and respect enough to submit yourself to his authority. 

In christian marriage, there is no divorce - because God hates. The woman submits to the husband and the husband loves the wife as the Lord loved us and died for our sins.  Every challenges is for the growth and maturity of the couple and it is taken to God in prayer.

Forgiveness and forbearance is practiced in love, as the two people involved in marriage are not perfect people. Forgiveness is a proof that you love your spouse.  If you know the benefits of forgiveness, you will forgive without waiting for apology. 

Finally, Spinsters and bachelors should seek the face of God when it comes to picking a partner, so they would not suffer unnecessary emotional pain and setback in life. 

Beloved, the time is short, Jesus is coming soon.  Prepare to meet your Saviour and the time to prepare is NOW.  Give your heart to the Lord today, if you have not done that before,  Don't wait for another day! If you do so, He will deliver you from every limitation and give you divine direction that will reduce your struggle.
Say this prayer: Lord Jesus, I come to you as I am, a sinner. Have mercy on  me, forgive my sins. I  believe you died for my sins and was raised for my justification. Come into my heart, be my Lord and saviour. Give me the grace to serve you in truth and spirit. Thank You Jesus, I am born again!  

His grace be with you all.




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