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ANGER, TENSION...........As Office Romance, Lust and Greed Tearing families Apart!

  


The alarming rate of office romance going on today around the world is simply shameful, especially for those who are born again children of God.  I don't know how people can justify their unfaithfulness to God and their spouse.  What reason will a child of God advance for keeping an extra marital relationship in the place of work, which they now call 'office husband or office wife'?

Everyone entering marriage should know their faithfulness, love and obedience to the word of God will surely be tested, and the devil uses people close to you and things you are lusting for.  The matter becomes a hard battle when you get married and yet retain in your phones, pictures, contact and conversations of your former relationships. It means such a guy or young lady does not yet understand what marriage is.

This is why I pray for some of our married sisters, who continues to dress and behave as though they are single, many years after marriage. Such sisters are joking, tempting the devil will surely pull the marriage down.  This is where lust and greed comes in.  Why keep the contact or picture of your former lovers? Is that wisdom - NO!

Today, many marriages are sick to the point of comatose because of errors like these.  These are worldly behaviours which a born again child of God has no business with. Young couples need time to build trust and their homes without much interference from anyone. You need time to build time-tested virtues of happy co-habitation - living together, faithfulness and humble submission one to another, which the scriptures advised.

Marriage is a critical juncture in life, where the devil wait for people with glorious destiny to mislead them into wrong partners. Many who have made their mark in life, intelligent and successful people has been leveled and brought low due to wrong marital choices.

What is office romance?

OFFICE ROMANCE:
This is a simply relationship with a colleague in the office. It is common with spinsters and bachelors who think maybe they can meet their love in the office or those who just cannot control their emotions.  It becomes a worrisome matter when married people are involved. when married men or women abandons their spouse for the man or lady they met in the office, the effect of such relationship, no matter how they cover it, will affect their marriages and relationship at home. It leads to separation, divorce or even untimely death.  

Office romance has its price, apart from destroying the home. It causes low productivity and waters-down the authority of a compromising officer over the subordinates. If you are the manager and happen to misbehave with your subordinate, you loose your authority in that office, as your other workers will easily question your judgement. 

The devil deceive people to think that their colleagues appreciate them more than their spouses, instead of solving their problem at home and growing in their maturity, they 'run' to their colleagues and office confidants for help, which opens them up to more trouble. 

Though office romance may not be the only reason for the many separations and divorces we are seeing in marriage today, it has contributed to it or worsened the menace.  

HOW DOES IT START

In a lot of ways and for many varied reasons, people become drawn to each other in the work place. Some guys will just start greeting and complimenting a married woman/lady, telling her how beautiful she looks.  This behavior is continued until it permeates the lady’s heart and she begins to pay attention to the guy.

Married ladies should ignore these useless compliments and focus on their duties. Office affair divides the love and affection in marriage. It causes people to leave home early in the morning and return very late at night on the excuse of overtime or work overload.

REASONS FOR OFFICE ROMANCE

There are many factors responsible for this unhealthy behaviour, but the truth is that most women who do this does not understand their responsibility in marriage. Marriage is a union and not a joining together that leaves any part wholly or partly independent.

After marriage, the lady’s body is not her own alone, but that of  the husband also.  Some of the reasons advanced by women are funny. Here are some of them:

1. Some women have high sexual drive which their husband cannot meet up with. From where did they get the high sexual drive? - some of them are exposured to blue films and pornography. .After hiding to watch those crazy drug propelled women, without any value for their body, they want to practice same at home. Sister/madam, you will kill your husband!

2. Other women are doing it. hmnnn.  Is that an excuse for a believer in Christ? Should you follow the multitude to do evil...NO.  Where is the fear of God that restrains people?

What are the other reasons?

3. They stay long hours in the office, get familiar and share information and jokes. Marriage is for matured in heart and the skills to 'ward-off' intruders is one of the early signs that a young person is ready for marriage.  You need discipline, self restraint and strict border line you must not cross or allow friends to cross in relationship in the office and elsewhere.  

4. To get promotion in a competitive and highly rewarding environment.

5. Frustration in their marriage - These category of women discuss their marriage freely with some colleagues who pretend to care about them and even love them more than their husbands. These fake compliments and relationship eventually work against the marriage of the lady.

A believer working in the office either within or outside his state, should realize the burden of trust and responsibility God and marriage placed on them.  

Without knowing some of these basics, and being guided by them, a lot of ladies carry on with their 'spinster jackets' years after marriage, relating with the opposite sex, colleagues and male friends as though marriage has no rules and motherhood means nothing.  

The Word of God restrain us from many worldly desires and behaviour and focus our mind on the right things. All the talk of high sexual drive would be curtailed as they are caused by things we choose to expose ourselves to. All the lack of interest in sex, low libido, unnecessary use of sexually motivating drugs and drinks will be a thing of the past. Also, with God in a marriage, couples will jointly and honestly address any sexual difficulties that come the way of their joy in marriage.
  
Any one going into marriage as a Christian should know that marriage is responsibility and not a child’s play.  Marriage is a place to fulfill God’s plan for your life and that of your family. Any one going into marriage should also know that marriage is built on God’s Word, love and trust.

If God is not in your marriage, then Tom, dick and Harry will manipulate and influence the marriage and eventually destroy it. But, if God be in your marriage, by this I mean that both of you have given your heart to Jesus Christ, then the fear of God will guide you.

Love and trust are basic to any successful union. This trust must never be broken as it could bring the relationship to an end. Some people find it difficult to forgive their unfaithful partners, while some think their unfaithful partners cannot change. All these bring strife which eventually bring separation or divorce. Because trust takes time to build, and it strengthens the love among couples, I will suggest the following helpful tips and  guidelines for young people.

What did the bible say about sexual Temptations?

1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Colossians 3:5 - Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

2 Timothy 2:22 - So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

1 Corinthians 6:15-20 - Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, ...

1 Corinthians 7:9 - But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Matthew 6:13 - And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Ephesians 5:3 - But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Psalm 119:9-11 - How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

James 4:7 -  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Matthew 26:41 - Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

1 Corinthians 7:2- But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Matthew 5:28 - But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Jude 1:7 - Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.

Luke 22:40 - And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.”

Galatians 5:16 - But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Hebrews 2:18 - For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40 - Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ...

1 Timothy 6:9 - But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.

Galatians 6:1 - Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Psalm 119:11 - I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

James 1:14 - But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

Luke 11:4 - And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.”

Job 31:1 - “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

Mark 14:38 - Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Matthew 4:7 - Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

James 1:12 - Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Hebrews 4:15 - For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Titus 2:11-14 - For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

Galatians 5:19 - Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

Romans 13:14 - But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Acts 15:20 - But should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood.

Luke 4:13 - And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.

Galatians 5:19-21 - Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 15:33 - Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 Peter 5:8 - Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

James 1:13 - Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 - For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;

2 Corinthians 12:21 - I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.

1 John 2:16 - For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Hebrews 11:6 - And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Matthew 4:1-11 - Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple ...

1 John 2:1 - My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

1 John 1:8-9 - If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

2 Peter 2:9 - Then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment,

Hebrews 12:1-2 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

1 Thessalonians 3:5 - For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith, for fear that somehow the tempter had tempted you and our labor would be in vain.

Psalm 119:9 - How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Psalm 84:11 - For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.

1 Peter 2:11 - Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

James 1:13-15 - Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Hebrews 4:15-16 - For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

James 1:2-4 - Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

2 Corinthians 10:5 - We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

Psalm 16:8-9 - I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.

Genesis 3:1-24 - Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 

1 John 5:4 - For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.

James 1:3 - For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 - Abstain from every form of evil.

Colossians 3:1 - If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 - Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20 - “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” ...

Romans 8:13- For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

James 1:13-14 - Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

James 1:12-16 - Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.

Proverbs 3:5-8 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

1 Chronicles 29:17 - I know, my God, that you test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. In the uprightness of my heart I have freely offered all these things, and now I have seen your people, who are present here, offering freely and joyously to you.

Ephesians 6:11 - Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

Romans 6:11 - So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

John 8:6 - This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground.

Luke 11:13 - If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Matthew 4:10 - Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’”

Proverbs 22:14 - The mouth of forbidden women is a deep pit; he with whom the Lord is angry will fall into it.

1 Chronicles 16:11 - Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

1 John 2:1-2 - My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.

James 1:14-16 - But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.

Hebrews 4:14-16 - Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

1 Corinthians 6:13 - “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Romans 12:2 - Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

1 Peter 5:9- Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

1 Peter 5:8-11 - Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 12:4 - In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.



Jude 1:24 - Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy,

SIMPLE ADVICE TO MARRIED WOMEN

Let our sisters take note of the following: 

1."Take your eyes off the opposite sex that is not your spouse!
2. Avoid unnecessary body contact with the opposite sex, not your spouse
3. Don't discuss your marriage with any third party including colleaques.
4. Make a vow of CHASTITY with God
5. Handle your body with honour
6. Commit yourself to the success of your marriage.
7. No scanty dressing, No seductive appearance.

DANGERS OF OFFICE ROMANCE:
1. Loss of employment.
2. Loss of respect among colleagues.
3. Moral burden and betrayal of trust.
4. Conflict of interest issues.
5. Loss of authority.
6. The integrity question - Colleagues will start questioning your judgement in certain matters, thinking you are biased.
7. Misconduct: I witnessed one  among fresh recruits in a bank in Lagos some years ago, that led to the sack of the two randy employees. 

HOW TO AVOID OFFICE ROMANCE

1. Any woman that discusses her family issues to colleagues will one day regret it. STOP IT NOW. Every family has issue, why discuss your husband with small boys in your office who are not even up to your husband?. You are not doing well.
2. Avoid over familiarity with colleagues.
3. Avoid unnecessary play and body contact.
4. If you must discuss your marital challenges, let it be with trusted married women for ladies and married man for men. Never with an opposite sex as it may serve as invitation to dialogue.
5. Be professional, focus on your duties. Take your eyes off the opposite sex.
6. Start no mutual friendship that will build excitement between you and a married man or woman.
7. Resist every demonic instincts and impulse. Fear God in all you do in the office.
8. Don't lust for evil things in your heart. Trust in the Lord for your promotion and work hard.
9. Never you take advantage of peoples challenges to exploit them.

CONCLUSION:

Beloved, love and commitment are keys to happy marriage.  Love develops and grows which it is nourished.  For ladies, it is important that you marry a man you love and respect enough to submit yourself to his authority. 

In christian marriage, there is no divorce - because God hates. The woman submits to the husband and the husband loves the wife as the Lord loved us and died for our sins.  Every challenges is for the growth and maturity of the couple and it is taken to God in prayer.

Forgiveness and forbearance is practiced in love, as the two people involved in marriage are not perfect people. Forgiveness is a proof that you love your spouse.  If you know the benefits of forgiveness, you will forgive without waiting for apology. 

Finally, Spinsters and bachelors should seek the face of God when it comes to picking a partner, so they would not suffer unnecessary emotional pain and setback in life. 



Beloved, Jesus is coming back soon.  "Where will you spend eternity - In heaven or hell"? This is the time to work-out your salvation.  Now is the acceptable time!

Repent and give your heart to Jesus. He will give you a new life, victory and eternal life.  Will you accept Him today?


FIRE....

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