TRAINING CHILDREN................In the ways of the Lord is PROFITABLE!

What is bad parenting?  
...Not training a child in the way of the Lord
Teach them to:
Pray and Fast
Be obedient
Be Respectful


Every parent love obedient and God fearing children.  But beyond that, parents have a responsibility before God to bring up their child in the way of the Lord.  To know the love of God to us and others, to know that obedience is key to becoming the favourite of God.

Parents should also let their children know that rebellion, a serious offence before God starts from the sin of disobedience.  God expects parents to be genuine believers, so they can pass their experiences and instructions of God to them.  

It is a well known fact that children copy their parents in many things and so, it is important that parents are available to show good example to their children. If parents are unbelieving or rebellious to the word of God, it will take God's intervention for their children to know and fear God - Children copy their parents!

We are to be imitators of God, our Heavenly Father, and God aim is for us to conform to the image of Christ in everything.  The same for our children, so that they will grow in love for God, and their neighbour, while submitting to the lordship of Christ in all things.  

Training them to know the Lord

To train our children to love God with all their hearts, and to love others as they live themselves is the goal of many believing parents, but many times, parents indulge in detrimental behaviors in the presence of their children, leaving a long-lasting effect on the child. It may not be intentional, but the damage is done. Part of growing in godliness is developing godly character qualities. We should teach and show them the importance of inward purity of heart and inner rejection of sin and all manner of evil. Also we should explain love and faith from the heart.  Love and faith that comes from the heart is deep and long lasting.

In the book of Hebrews 12:10, the bible says that God disciplines (trains) us so that we may share His holiness. You must train your children to share God’s holiness. Teach them about moral purity, the fruit of the Spirit, how to deal with trials with the right attitude of joy and thanksgiving, about having a servant-attitude instead of a selfish outlook. Attitudes are important, not just outward behavior, since God is concerned about our attitudes.

Children, with their exuberant attitude display foolishness, which parents should help them to amend.  Proverbs 22:15 says  “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”  This means that children, by nature, are self-centered and proud. They need encouragement to grow in humility and servant-hood. Since as sinners, we’re all rebellious at heart, children need to learn submission to proper authority as a part of godliness.

Image result for mother and children picture

Mother and daughter

Teach Children how to Pray
Parents should pray regularly and also teach their children how to pray.  The reasons why we pray and the steps to praying.  Praying is talking to God, and to develop the attitude of praying all the time is a christian virtue.  If we are used to fasting, it will be a good idea to ask the children to wait with you some days or days in a week.  That way, they know the importance of fasting and participate. 

Teach children to be obedient
Obedience is responding positively to instruction from parents and other constituted authorities. Children should know who constituted authorities are and the reasons why they should be obeyed.  From the scriptural and physical points of view.  Children should not be left ignorant of immediate and remote consequences of disobeying elders and others.

Teach children to be Respectful
This can be defined as knowing how to honour people in words and action.  Respect is an attitude that children should learn and get used to.  They should know who to honour, when to honour and what constitutes respect and honour.  The first honour in all things is due to God, who created heaven and earth.

Teach them to be virtuous
The girl child should be brought up in an environment that honours the Lord and His word.  In an environment where the Lord is praised and worshiped.  Virtue means goodness of character and behaviour, and to be a girls of virtues means to imbibe good character and love to do good.  It is to be wise in the things of God, serve the Lord even as a youth.

Parents should prayerfully seek to bring your children to genuine conversion in Christ.  Yes, prayerfully do this.  Be devoted to the things of God, speaking of His goodness all the time.  Studying your bible and praising Him daily. Pray for your children to receive the Lord in their youth etc and believe God for answered prayers.

Training the Girl child

Raising godly girls in today's world could be challenging, but surely not impossible. With some determination, you can raise your girl to love Jesus.  This is the full duty of mothers, who are women themselves and have better understanding of their daughters.  The father will ensure certain things are done right, unprofitable attitudes are cut off.  Our daughters need to be taught to work with integrity, have good work ethic, and a have a good attitude. Sometimes children are naturally inclined to do well at these things, and sometimes they’re not.

The home is the training ground for the children, so it should be a place of love for God and man.  There must be order, respect and honour that is visible. Because children learn more from what they see and watch happen, a family that wants to raise godly girls must be a godly home, where the wife submits to her husband and sacrificially love him and the children.  It should be a house free from strife, and unnecessary confrontation between the husband and the wife.  Having said that,  

Girls should be equipped with the tools to develop into godly ladies.  The mother should be the arrow head, teaching them early how to combat peer pressure and be themselves, no matter who is around them.  The should know the difference between godly and worldly love, the place of purity in all we do, for God looks at the heart and not face.

Mothers should have lots of conversations with their girls. Listening to your daughter while she is young is one of the best ways to keep the lines of communication open as she grows older. If she feels you are a safe place to talk about her dolls, her drawings, her stories, and constantly loves to serve you plastic food and you happily listen and accept, she will come to you when she has a crush and doesn’t know what to do with her feelings.

Mothers should educate themselves about more things, than before.  I hear my daughter ask her mother all kinds of questions, in almost all discipline, that my wife will sometimes say she is not an expert in all disciplines. If you’re unsure how to navigate certain questions, study them and share with her.

Empower them. You can equip your daughter by empowering her with the knowledge of Christ and who they are in Him. This is huge. When your daughter understands her worth is found in the cross, she is less likely to be swayed by the world. Show your daughter you value her, even when she makes mistakes. Treat her as a person, not a project. Pray often for her. Read and the Bible together.

Boy child

The following areas are important for training the boy child.

1. The father figures

2. The mentors

3. The peers

4. The younger guys

5. The Church

Fathers should play their traditional role of being the Father.  Those shouts of order, Stop that, Move away from that person or thing and other similar enforcement that father give in the home is what mould the young boy to understand the importance of certain things.  Fathers should never abandon their duty to their children.

You should also mentor them into some specific areas till they can find their bearing and then make their own choice.  The father should tell the boys all they needed to know about their peers, how they behave and areas of conflict. The man should be a lover of Christ, in word and deed.  Let your sons know the Lord through you, and in every way show them how to love the Lord and fear Him.

Bad Parenting 

The big deal with bad parenting is that we have mothers and parents, who themselves were not trained at all.  The worse is the case of many couples that do not know the word of God, neither His ways, bringing up children. We have parents who  are not careful about what they tell and show their children, and as a result, there is pollution, impurity and evil is everywhere in the land.

Bad parenting is not a single act of poor nurturing but rather a series of such actions that invariably harm the little one’s demeanor and psychology. A parent may feel guilty and will try to reconcile, but it often too late, the deed has been done and an evil seed has been sowed into the child memory.
1. It includes not giving a child a good example to copy
2. Acts that pollute and corrupt a young child's mind
3. Exposing the child to danger - knowingly or unknowingly
4. Neglecting the child and not giving the child attention when necessary
5. Showing the child bad example that can mislead the child
Training the children is till they become adult or accountable, and sometimes a lifelong process. But your goal is to get your children to have a God-ward focus in their lives. They are accountable primarily to God, not to you. They must learn that their disobedience and sin displeases Him. 

They need to learn to please God with every thought, word, and deed. As soon as they’re old enough, you’ll want to help them establish a quiet time. Help them evaluate various activities by the question, “Does it please God?”

Parenting Errors to Avoid

Unrealistic Expectations - If you have unrealistic expectations of what your kids should be doing, you can creating a problem for both yourself and the children.  Sometimes a child is brilliant in the formative years and latter he is not able to cope because of probably new school and new pupils, different teaching methods and approaches or better still encountering high quotient children in a new school or class.  The parents is expected to investigate to know why he is no longer doing as better as he was doing, instead of complaining that he has dropped.

Maintaining expectations that are too low or too high may not be the best thing to do, labeling them is not good either. Some parents may tell you that their firstborn as the smart kid, next child as the attractive one and your youngest one as the social child. What kind of message are you passing to the children?

Not getting to know your child - Many parents do not know their children as much as the house maid or  even some neighbours.  The reason is that the man leaves the house in the morning and return at night.  If the work schedule of the wife is the same as the husband, then their children will suffer lack of attention and parental care.  It would then boil down to house helps and relatives training the children.  When that happens, you don't know your child and that is bad enough because if anything happens, you cannot vouch for him or her because you do not know what are capable of doing.

Don't Neglect them - Parents should always be attention to their children.  This is why comfortable families allow one of them to leave job or take a job that give him or her time to attend to the children when they are still babies and young adults growing up.  For a believer, there is not excuse for neglecting the children. It is not enough to provide their needs, you should be around to hear them and attend to their needs as they arise.

 Let see what the bible say about parenting

These scriptures teaches parents how to teach their children the ways of the Lord.  For a born again Christian, parenting and getting it right is a huge kingdom obligation.

1. Proverbs 13:24 - Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

2. Proverbs 22:6 -  Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

3. Proverbs 29:15 - A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

4. Proverbs 29:17 - Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.

5. Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


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