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WOMEN, SINGLES....Relationship, Marital, Career and Parenting success!


1. Sisters, cover your body, Satan wants to expose your nakedness
2. Singles Sisters - Simple steps to finding your Mr. Right in Days
3. Single Mums - Please allow your children to see their fathers
4. How to become a virtuous Woman
5. Divorce is painful, Hold on still!

WOMEN, SISTERS - COVER YOUR BODY ....Satan is Seeking to Expose your Nakedness!


The reason why I often comment on the (Dressing) appearance of sisters in the church and outside the church is because a good advice does not hurt.  It could help a young believer, who is confused about what to wear to church.

I also reflect on the matter to alert our sisters that it is not ordinary as some people try to make us believe, so they are not seduced to follow the world in dressing scanty.  There is a Satanic agenda in all these, which is to lead more people to hell. See references in Romans 12:1, 1 Timothy 2:9-10, 1 Peter 3:3-4.

It's clear that the devil is seeking people he would advertise their body in the open for the world to see. Men are attracted by what they see, so the sight of a naked woman, only a few men can look away. The devil want to use the display of nakedness to unleash end-time spirit of seduction unto the world.

The strategy is to have many people walk naked to make it look as if walking naked is normal for humans.  Those who has been caught in this shameful act tell you there is no big deal in walking or appearing naked.  Meanwhile, it is the highest level of degradation of the human body.

Have you wondered why most celebrities momentarily forget themselves and go naked?  It is a covenant they have with the devil! Once they do that, they are possessed by Marine spirit and enter into secret covenant with the Queen of the Coast to dishonour her body continually. 

Those celebrities that Satan is promoting their music or talent must go naked, in order to create the impression that nakedness is trendy and good.  These are usually celebrities with large follower-ship and some upcoming ones desperate to get to the top quick.

Therefore, Sisters who think they can compete with worldly ladies in fashion should have a re-think.  Dressing like the world would spell trouble for a god fearing believer and such a woman will hardly be able to dignify herself in her dressing.  The scriptures warned believers to beware of friendship with the world.  Any one who visits Walmart Stores in the US will understand what I am talking about. Few people started it some years back, but today...it has become normal for people to go to Walmart scanty, half naked and most recently fully naked to buy things.  The devil is behind this!

The world fashion of today is fashioned to fulfill the purpose of displaying the nakedness of people and every child of God should learn how to carry their body in dignity and honour, presently their body a living sacrifice, free from sin as temples of the Holy Ghost 1 Cor 6:19-20.
Scriptural Perspective
As people who have been enlightened by the Word of God, we can briefly look at some perspectives of christian dressing and factors that inform some of the dressing we see our lady wear to church.

The youth are the worse group in church weird dressing because of peer pressure and they cannot seem to be in any kind of conflict.  They are expressing their youth and exciting themselves with the latest fashion they see among their groups. 

The matured single ladies - will dress according to their maturity level in the faith and the level of worldly exposure they have had.  There are many issues in which some young believers think that a woman will always be a woman.  One of such is the dresses they wear to church.  Every woman loves attention and the church is a public places where people of all classes gather, so most women would ordinarily want to look their best.

It is now a question of how spirit filled a woman is, as well as the pressure under which she is operating.  A matured lady who is still single will naturally attract more attention with her dresses than another lady married with kids.  The married woman is pleased with her husband's appreciation of her modest dressing to church, while the single lady probably under pressure to impress her admirers.

A spirit filled single knows that the reason she is not married is not because of her dressing.  She knows that dressing has nothing to do with her getting married and thus trying to impress people will also achieve nothing.  It is her inner-man that she should nourish with the word of God and christian virtues of a woman.


The Bible states it clear from Old Testament that God is not delighted in His children exposing their nakedness. From Genesis, God made the first clothing for humanity after they fell into sin and were sent out of the Garden of Eden. The LORD God made the clothing with animal for a purpose - to cover their nakedness. So from here the primary purpose of clothing, of dressing, is to cover our nakedness. 

All senses will agree with this, spiritually, physically, philosophically and mentally; that we wear clothes primarily to cover our nakedness. So when a person wears clothes and the nakedness is not properly covered, the person is not just being fashionable but working against God’s natural purpose; that is ungodly.

When a Christian who has the knowledge of the Almighty God claims that she is dressing not to cover her body but for fashion, that Christian is a spiritual baby. The Bible admonishes us in Romans 12:1, to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God. What does that means? 

God is interested in how you present your body as well your heart. God will not accept half naked presented body. How you present your body is more important to God than the sacrifice you present. He told Moses that the children of Israel should be careful so that their nakedness is not exposed, because that might attracts God’s wrath. Exodus 20:26

Biblical Perspectives
So what are the Biblical standards for dressing for godly women? The answer is that a godly, regenerated woman can wear anything as long as it goes along with biblical perspectives:

1. Moderation
The standard of the Bible is not anything goes permissive styles neither is it conservative legalism, Bible standard is MODERATION! One of the attributes of Christianity is moderation. Moderation in everything: how you live, what you say, what you eat, what you drink, how you dress, what you wear, car you ride, house you live in, what you use and so on. When you are in Christ, you don’t show off your self, because you are dead to the flesh. You don’t show your body, your riches, your pride; you show Christ and Him alone. 

2. Well covered: When you give your life to Jesus and living a new life in Him, you are not controlled by the world fashion's sense, you are not dressing to belong or please yourself, you dress primarily to cover your body as a living sacrifice to God. Because you realize your body is a temple of Holy Spirit. Anything you wear must cover you well. How? Your skirts must reach below your knees; your shirts must well cover your breasts; any tops, gowns, etc. 

Your wears on top must not show the trace of your breasts if you bend down and your underwear must be under, not over. That is the meaning of well-covered dress. If a Christian woman wears a cloths that doesn't cover her knees, that the trace of her breasts can be seen, that people can see any of her under wears outside, she does not present her body as a holy temple of God, she is defiling God’s temple.

3. Not Transparent:   Any clothing you wear as a godly woman must not be transparent or evaporated that your under wears will be seen. Since the purpose of wearing clothes is the cover your nakedness, wearing transparent or evaporated clothes has defeated that God’s purpose in such woman's life. Wearing transparent, evaporated clothes is an indirect nakedness and disobedience to God; it is as bad as half naked. As a Christian, godly woman, you are watchful of what you wear and how you wear them so that you are not disqualified by God just because of your dress-style.

4. No Tights:  If you are wearing skirts, gowns, shirts, native dress, self made, uniforms, whatever, where ever, it must not be tight. Wearing tight clothes that shows the shape and anatomy of your body to the world is also an indirect nakedness. You wear clothes to cover your body not to show your body shape. When the motive is to show the shape of your body then something it wrong, it is called inordinate motive. A godly woman does not dress to show the shape of her body, so body hugs and all sorts of tight clothing are ungodly and can lead to damnation and condemnation of one’s soul at the end.

5. Not Too Expensive - Modest to your ability:  Either a woman or a man, as a child of God, Bible directly warns us not to buy, wear expensive clothing, not because you can’t afford it but because you are a Christian, modest. Christianity is all about modesty, and staying within your means.  When you have more than enough, then you must desist from showing-off your riches and becoming self centred.  You should rather share willingly what you have with others, especially those that need help.

      SINGLES.....Simple Steps to finding your Mr. Right in Days!

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Marital Advice for Singles!

Marriage is a great opportunity to make progress in life for everyone, especially those who love children and want to have a family of their own.  The reality of life is that there are ladies who want to have a family, but who do not know what to do to get a godly man they desire and cry to God for. Anyone in that category will find this piece interesting.  

In marriage, Jesus Christ and love are the most important ingredients for a successful marriage.  When  you meet the person you love and that loves you, and both of you are in Christ, you are in for a lifetime of joy and peace.

Love is  key to marital success because it takes love for a person to commit to a relationship.  Everyone is looking for love because we are not perfect, and love existing between two people covers every fault, overlooks weaknesses, and allow the couple to learn and grow into maturity together in peace. Love does not despise or lord itself on the other person, love is full of charity. 

Love is the most important ingredient for happy marriage after Jesus Christ and yet Love is elusive because it cannot be bought with money, neither can it be  manufactured and supplied to people seeking it.  Love cannot be controlled, whoever is in love becomes vulnerable. Love is very costly and scarce!

Many ladies choose the wrong partner because of deception.  Some young people have cleverly learnt how to show fake love to themselves - love that cannot stand the test of time.  Some people profess they are ready for marriage, when they don't even know themselves, neither are they spiritually and mentally ready.  

A woman may be physically ready, but fall short in the spiritual and mental requirement for making a happy home.  Appearance is not enough, there is place for lasting christian values and virtues in marriage. We can become infatuated with a man for a variety of reasons and believe he is the right guy for months or even years. But eventually the incompatibilities become apparent, you fall out of love. In fact, it's often the qualities that attracted you to him, in the first place that will ultimately drive you out. Take a lady for instance, the dressing that attract men to them is the same dressing they force those men to go. 

For believers in Christ, the first sign of your maturity for marriage should be your understanding of the word of God concerning marriage.  It is unthinkable that a christian sister is looking for a godly husband without know the meaning of Genesis 2:21-25. This is the story of how God ordained marriage and later blessed it.

Genesis 2:21-15 Explained:

1. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof.  And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

A woman was created for her husband - This is one of the reason God asked the woman to humble herself before her husband and submit to him in all things.  Sisters, do not marry a man you cannot submit to.  Surface love will fail you later in the marriage, when your husband begins to demand for the respect due a husband. If you cannot submit to a man, then both of you cannot truely be one in the spirit and walk together in the physical.

Your proposed husband must be ready for marriage, else after the marriage, his friends and parents will still be directing his behaviour.  Do not marry a man who is  not yet ready for marriage - The struggle could last more years than you think.

2. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

You will notice that Adam was eagerly waiting for Eve to make him complete.  This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh says it all. Eve completed the holy man called Adam.  He was busy naming animals of all kind and saying in his heart - None of them is looking like me, I am alone here in the midst of animals...O'Lord help my loneliness.

So, when Eve was brought to him, he was comforted and glad.  Sisters, receive the grace to consent to a man that is marriage-ready and eagerly waiting for your hands to make him complete.  For you to enjoy that man and your marriage, you need to understand the meaning of "both of them being naked and they are not ashamed". Please pay attention!

3. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

This third point means alot to the health of your marriage both in the beginning and all through your lives as married couple.  It means they were very close to each other - Intimacy without shame. It also means that there was no secret things, acts and otherwise to be hidden from each other.

No secret friends your spouse do not know about, No secret bank accounts to hid from her; No secret facebook and instagram friends you waste your time chatting without your spouse knowing.  No secret transfer of your money (Which is now for the family as a whole) to any family member of friend without discussing with your spouse.

Beloved, the moment you begin to hide anything from your spouse, there is a conflict and a problem in the offing.  Some people refuse to talk or discuss the problem in the early stage, but situation will force them to talk later, when it is too late.  

Sometimes, I observe some young couples hiding their phone from their spouse, which shows you are not ready to play according to rules.  God ordained marriage and gave us the guidelines for success in marriage.

Make up your mind to love and admire only your husband, submitting unto him as the Lord ordained it.  You will both be happy for it, as there will be peace of mind and both of you are able to plan your family and walk together to realize your dream.

Remember  also, all that glitters is not gold. ....And you cannot cope with everyone. There is someone you can live happily with, riches or no riches and ensure both of you are compatible.

In addition to Gen 2, Christian Ladies should know that:

Love is transparent: Love requires that you reveal your true self to another person without any fears as to whether he would accept and love you are you are. We all want to be loved and appreciated, but without revealing yourself to the other person, love will be hard to establish. This is why a famous author C.S Lewis said that "To love at all is to be vulnerable” Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken, if you want to make sure it is intact, you must give it to no one"?

Love is sacrificial - meaning that love requires a lot of sacrifices to succeed and where there is love without sacrifice, such love can be easily frustrated.

Love is never hidden. It could be a complex issue, but whenever you fall in love, you will know.  However, you do not know whether the other person is in love with you.  This is why when a lady finds love, over night, she will close every other relationship and focus on the man that has shown her love and care that she cannot deny.

Love comes in different packages; some people in love do quickly want to move the relation to the next level, whether it is the man or the lady.  This is why it appears sometimes that ladies push their lover too hard for marriage.  The reason is that they are in love.  So there is a frequency that comes with love. If the lady is ready and prepared, the marriage can be consummated within months.

A matured sister should do the following:

1. Do a self assessment of yourself and your relationship experiences and decide on areas of your lifestyle that need amendment, aspects of your behaviour that must be laid to rest, the ones that need improvement.  Decide on the areas of life you should seek knowledge to improve yourself generally.

2.  Marriage is a journey of commitments and so you should consider what you're bringing to the table that will support the marriage. For the avoidance of doubt, the lady should bring on the table, her unconditional love for God and her spouse, virtues of hard work and submissiveness, skills and other qualities,Godly attributes of faith in God and His Word, prayerfulness and fear of God.

Where you need additional skills and competencies, don't hesitate to acquire such additional skills. If you're a civil servant,get a vocational skill in trading or distribution business, hairdressing, tailoring, catering, rental and sowing etc. If you desire to further your education, please do so. Marriage is an unpredictable journey of life that anything can happen to change calculations.

3. Determine what you want in a man/Husband. You must spend some quality time detailing the qualities you need in a man that will marry you. This exercise is not easy, but if you can do it, you will rediscover yourself the more. It should be done in faith without doubting, because you're not the one that will do it, but God.

Do not ask God for Husband or Wife without specifying exactly what you want in such a person.  You want a musician, Pastor, Footballer, Pilot, School Proprietor, Evangelist etc.  Let me give you a secret, if you are His own at the time of your request, begin to sing for joy, He will send you such a person.  It means that you are prepared to cooperate with one of of His children in the work of the kingdom in family upbringing, teaching the young ones, evangelism....etc.

God has everything you can ever desire, so don't limit yourself in any way, put your faith to work. If you don't do this, how would you know when your Mr appears? 

4. Decide the borders of your relationships with men and women and make sure you keep to the terms you have specified. Guide your borders strictly and be firm in warding-off intruders and other undesirable distractions. Maintain a professional attitude to appointment, time management; no late nights. no sex till your real man comes, no alcohol, no clubbing, no night visit to any guy, no hugging or kissing.

5. Decide to carry your body in honour always - that means no scanty dressing, no to extremely tight clothes, no amorous dressing. Also, no worldly songs and videos etc. 

6. Desire Godly men.  Men who will add to your spiritual progress.  If you desire a godly man, that desire will help you shift away canal men that will come to you first - some motivated by your good looks and shape - This type will spent a whole caressing you, others by your beauty and intelligence and others by your modest achievement in academics or financially. 

Godly brothers will exhibited godly characters all the time.  He will be a prayer addict, kingdom worker with strong commitment, honest, humble and hard-working.  You will notice that with all the money and academic qualifications he has achieved, his trust is in God for both promotion and over all progress in life.

When the guy comes, the following steps may yet be necessary:

1. Try to understand him - As you engage and interact with him, ask pertinent questions that will help you understand him. Find out his vision and the kind of future he is working towards. Find out about his family, his position in the family as well as his functional position of importance. Discover who his hero is. Who he is aspiring to be like and who is mentoring him. Who is his spiritual father. 

If you can understand him, his vision, then you will be in a better to advice, cheer him up and encourage him. He would also discern your intelligent and importance. In most cases, He would become more open with you, thereby making him available to be understood.

2. Observe Trends: - Observe his language of appreciation and his openness and know what his motivation is - love or lust. You don't have the time to waste on unproductive relationship. Hear me sisters. if he guy is seriously motivated by your looks, your physical outlook and shape, then he is motivated by lust. Very soon, he will be asking you to visit and cook for him, thereafter he would ask for sex. He would not easily discuss his future plans. You will get regular close-of-work hour and night calls from such a canal mind.

If he is in love, he will be open in many areas, would like to meet your friends, know whether you're engaged with anyone. He will call you more often and discuss tangible issues, not how beautiful your pictures on Facebook are. He will be interested in your career, future and so on.

3. Try to establish compatibility: - This is very critical for the success of the marriage. Compatibility here means that both of you agree and share the same belief and goal on many areas of interest. I was writing the final level examination of Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria when I met my wife, an accounting undergraduate. Professionally, we are compatible.

Compatibility means that both of you have same aspiration on certain issues. I knew a young banker who was interested in farming as an entrepreneur. The day he met a graduate who believed in farming as a viable business, he said he knew he had met his wife. 

Compatibility reduces arguement at home, and with few argument at home, there will be peace. You can check for compatibility in many areas including:

1. Education- Are you both graduates?
2. Economic status: Are you both working?
3. Family: Which status -  poor, middle class or wealthy.
4. Culture: Same tribe/language; same state, LGA?
5. Profession: Are you doing the same business e.g farming, marketing, sales & distribution business.
6. Vision for the future: Areas of interest.
7. Number of children desired: Are you on one page?
8. Christian serve: Are you both ministers?
9. Leisure/hobby: Do you share common hobby.

Compatibility done, Sisters are encouraged to shine their eyes. Live the Christian lifestyle of chastity and love and internalize them. You are better guided by the following advice:

Stop having sex for heaven sake. You have the grace to stay without sex for months, even for years. Focus on studying the Word and prayers.

Let him know you have a vision and future - Don’t call him everyday – 
It may be from time to time, but certainly not all the time. Men know how to call you when you haven’t called them, but if you call constantly to “just check in” then the chances are he’ll feel smothered within a week and will lose interest or just assume you are a bit desperate. 

Show interest in his vision and efforts, support him in every descent way possible without giving him money.

De- emphasize money in your relation. Make no strenuous demands on him.

Do your own thing – Never make us the centre of your world. Men love doing their own thing, and they love a woman who does her own thing even more. Hang out with your friends, go for a meal with your sister, have drinks after work, and after a certain amount of time you will both start doing many of these things together. Take it slowly and don’t rush into spending every evening with your prospective husband before time. He will want his own space and really appreciate you if you give it to him.

Maintain your discipline - avoid cooking for him at his house when you are not yet married to him. Don't entertain late night visits or dates. 

Make sure you have dropped your "spinster jacket".  No drinking of alcohol, excess makeups etc. Avoid the the trap of regular visit to his house and cooking for him. If you fall to the pressure that other ladies big and small fall to, then you're not different and soon the man may take advantage of you.

Learn to carry your body in honour. Love yourself for who you are, love your beauty, and hold yourself in high esteem.  No scanty dresses.

Forget Facebook – If you want to let your friends know how much you loved the prospective husband on the way to your office, or share a photo of the most adorable kitten playing a guitar that’s well and good. But do you really want a guy you just met to see all those old photos you’ve been tagged in? Retain a bit of mystery and avoid sending him a friend request until you’ve known each other better. 

Get active and serve God actively in your local church group. When you become active in the church group, their activities will fill up your idle time.

In conclusion, it is your duty to discern over time if the young man is ready to settle down. If he is not ready to settle down, throwing yourself at him will not produce any result. This is why sex should be excluded in your preliminary relationship. Tell your emotion to keep quite. No manipulations. 

Commitment scares many men, even when they are ready, so be careful how you 'push' him to move. Of course, just because he is scared doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. Take it easy and let him decide when he is ready to commit.

Please consider the entire advice on your hands today, meditate and upgrade yourself with them.  I am married and still married for over 20 years and I know that any woman can get married, but only those who are ready to walk in love  will enjoy success in marriage.

I pray for you, that God Almighty will help you to prepare well for marriage.

SINGLE MOTHERS.....Please Allow your children to see their fathers!

Mistakes happen in life, errors are committed...but not the end of life!

Single mothers are tough ladies and their courage should be praised.  Circumstances of life forced them to cater for their children alone - so they have to play the role of father and mother to their children.  

Being single Mom was not the plan of many of them, but circumstances beyond their control put many of them in that condition and I think it will not be out of place for the church they belong to support them, fill some gaps in their lives and in their children upbringing.

Having said that, and looking back at relationship errors that lead to single parenting, you will see that due to ignorance, many of today's single mothers who thought the man they loved and got pregnant for would be their husband, but were disappointed are encouraged to take heart, and know that there is help for them in Christ.

Some men and even ladies thought they were tough, and cannot be moved by any disrespecting man or woman, but today, they have seen that they were not as tough as they thought.

Others thought their intelligence and beauty, handsomeness would easily get them a better man or woman to marry, so they dished the ones they were in love with for one reason or the other, but today, they know better.

For many, it is their best friend that caused their separation or broke their relationship that caused them to be single mother - Please forgive and just remember your destiny is still available and bright as ever.

I don't know the circumstances that led to your having your baby and your supposed husband is not by your side. I know that such a disappointment is very hard to bear, especially when you think the fault is not from you.  

I can imagine the despair, the rejection and bitterness it generates for ladies, when they see the man that put them in the family, getting married to another woman.

It could be the hardest thing for many to bear, all I am saying is - please forgive and again remember that your creator is still alive and your destiny is still as bright as ever.  Forgive that man and free your spirit and get move on with your life.  Your future and that of the baby could be affected negatively by the way you handle the matter.

Many children are today emotionally depressed and angry with their mothers because they don't know their father.  Many of them will pressurize their  mothers to determine if their father is alive or dead, only to discover their father is alive, and kicking.  Some are even doing so well, but the bitterness of the past is preventing the mother from telling their children the truth about their father or allowing them to know the man.  This should not be so!

My point is that when you forgive the man and allow your son/daughter access to him - To at least see and know who their father is, the children will also  discharge you in their heart.

For a believing child of God, you have no business carrying the burden of the past in your heart to the extent that it becomes a stumbling block to your future.  When you forgive and forget, you settle the matter and then able to move on with your life and God's plan for you.  

So, I counsel you to forgive that man today.  Release yourself from the cage that unforgiveness puts on people...and see what God has in stock for you and your child.  The future is in God's hands and not in the hands of any man, that is why all eyes are on the Lord, creator of heaven and earth. 

I have deliberately avoided the legal aspect of this matter - CUSTODY OF THE CHILD.  I did not discuss the custody of the child in the case of legally married and divorced mothers and even those whose marriages was not concluded and no bride price paid.  

All I am saying is -  Please allow your sons/daughters to know their father.  Its important for the emotional development of the children.  I know you love your children, please don't deny them the knowledge of their father, when the man is alive.

Let love lead!  Let your sons/daughters know her father!!


HOW TO BECOME 'VIRTUOUS'...In a Difficult and Selfish proud World!

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Family and Godly Success Series!

Ref: Proverbs 31:10.31

A virtuous Christian woman is an un-quantifiable blessing to all the people around her, not just to the husband and the children, but the community as a whole.  She is a model for other women, and the bible says "she will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life".

So, it is indeed a blessing for a man to be blessed with a virtuous woman, who is a reference point for wisdom and sound morale behaviour and certainly a blessing to her family and the nation. 

Picture of a Virtuous Woman

Virtuous women are not born special from heaven, rather they are women who love the Lord, fear Him and are determined to abide by biblical standards for marriage in reverence to the Word of God. So, they work in love with their husband to establish the family firmly on godly principles and continue to act accordingly.

These women see their role in the home as very critical to the success of the marriage.  They endeavour to lead by example within the home and outside the home and so effortlessly transfer the virtues of hard work, humility and respect to their children.

They do not only do their husbands good, but they protect him from intruders - men and women, small girls, and other small demon possessed women.  Many marriages from heaven have virtuous women, who love the Lord, their husband and children in 'charge' of the home. 

The striking beauty of her spirit will naturaly win the soul of her unbelieving husband. Her adherence to God’s design in marriage can proclaim the glory of the gospel. Her faith in and knowledge of God’s word can spill over into her spheres of ministry and make her a motivator for many with great influence on millions of other people far and near.

However, if a woman does not know her God and His word, and if she is not clinging to the precious promises in the Word, she begins to resemble Eve, the mother of her flesh. Her heart can easily be deceived by the enemy’s craftiness, and her affection led astray.  

The underlisted points are humble attributes of a christian woman

1. She loves the Lord, obeys is Word and Voice

2. A Christian woman fears the Lord and submits to her husband

3. A Christian woman is Word guided in all things and hard working.

4. For a christian woman, what you wear matter, where you work and what you do matters

5. A Christian woman would not become a stumbling block to people either in the way she dress, eat or talk.

 A Christian woman, is always advised to guide her heart wittingly, so that the enticing words of Satan will mean nothing to her. This is also important so that does not take the grace of God upon her life for granted and begin to play with sin.

A christian woman is so important to a healthy and Godly family that she is not expected to become wanton as to begin to behave like unbelieving women with vein desires, seeking vanity and going to wrong places to the end that she is deceived out of faith and out of serving the Lord.

The Proverbs 31:10-31 woman is a model of a woman who lives a godly life. It is practical advice given by a mother to her single son about what to look for in a future wife. Therefore, it is advice for single women as well as married women.

Most of all, this idyllic icon is a woman who decides to learn and grow in all the areas of her life. She protects her heart from becoming hardened and bitter. The world and its circumstances can easily leave the heart embittered. God can keep the heart soft and full of joy when a woman follows Him.

A virtuous wife is a treasure. Her husband can trust her. He will have all he needs. She makes him look good all the days of her life. She isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. She works. She seeks to have a home filled with a variety of foods. She often gets up when it is still dark to begin her day. Food abounds to her household. 

She is business-minded and invests in things that profit her home. She keeps herself healthy and strong for her everyday tasks. She perceives that her life and home are good. She is content. She speaks with kind and helpful words and seeks to help all the people around her, not just her family. Her household can weather the vicissitudes of the journeys ahead. 

She dresses with care and even flair. She makes herself attractive for her husband. She helps him be the kind of man that others look up to and respect. She keeps herself busy and clothes herself with dignity. She conducts herself as a child and disciple of God. She rejoices for the future because she does the work of today. She speaks with wisdom and kindness. She guards her household and protects them with prayer. 

Her children bless her and her husband praises her. They think she is the best of all women. She knows that charm can be deceitful. She is aware that outer beauty slips away along with the years but inner beauty grows with every wrinkle. A lifetime of fruit will be evident when she stands in front of her great God.

If you look at the qualities again, you will realize that these qualities come to fruition gradually over a lifetime. They are not a daily to-do list and they don’t happen overnight. She is actively involved in the home and marriage building and so growing in family matters. 

With prayer and the Holy Spirit’s help, you can see can also develop some or all of these qualities and become a woman Zion, loved and respected by your husband and children. The qualities will surely grow as you seek God continually.

Here are some tips and ways you can be that virtuous woman:

Your Husband

You should make your husband proud during your entire life. Even before marriage, you should act in ways that would bring respect to a future mate. Anything you do as a single can affect a marriage later on. When you are with your husband, you will discuss the past. Everyone, married or single, has a husband in Jesus and your life should respect Him, as well.

Your Day

Your day begins early. If you are a morning person, this is advice you accept eagerly. If you are a night person, your day still begins at some point. So whenever that time is, begin it by consecrating it to the Lord. Seek to fulfill what you should do that day. Seek to help people you meet, even if that is just a friendly greeting. Let God get your attention throughout the day. He just might delight you in some magical way. Delight can come when you are able to encourage or help someone. It can also come with a realization of just how thankful you are for the life that God gave you.

Your Looks

Dress with care and make extra efforts to look nice. Exercise and eat in ways that strengthen your body. You can make efforts to look nice without spending hours getting ready. A little make-up with a smile goes further than a lot of make-up with a feeling of I’m-still-not-good-enough.

Your Neighbours

You should go throughout your day doing good for others. That may mean cooking and cleaning for your household or picking up toys for the hundredth time and putting them away. Alternatively, it could mean following a boss’ orders in the workplace or even helping a neighbor. On the other hand, it could be just smiling at someone who looks like they’ve had it. However, doing good is an action. It means being proactive and working willingly throughout your day, as well as being eager and wanting to do good. Sometimes motivation to share love to others is the bigger battle.

Your Home

You seek to make your house a home whether your house is an apartment, an extra room, or a house. You seek to add variety to your daily living—new decorations, new food, etc. Pleasant surprises are more melodic than the-same-old-same-old. Even when you are single, you should take pleasure in homemaking. After all, your home is where you rest and regroup so you are ready to face the world.

Your Knowledge

Spending time in God’s Word is essential. It is just as important though to share what you learn with others. Speak out the wisdom that God hides in your heart. Read about God’s kindness and then act it out for other people. Make sure that what you learn has an outlet—don’t keep it for yourself. Knowledge alone does nothing but build up one’s ego. Encourage anyone that is around you—your family, friends, co-workers, and even strangers. Everyone needs encouragement and not many take the time to offer it.

Your Interruptions

Be willing to have your day interrupted. Someone could need help when you are in the middle of doing something else. You can either ignore them or find out what they may need—it’s a choice. God can and does bring people across you path during the times that you can’t be bothered. If you answer his call, he may show you an unexpected delight.

Your Resources
Use resources wisely. For money, spend less than you take in. For time, use every bit of it. Don’t procrastinate and waste it. For love, share more than you think you have—it's renewable. Be trustworthy in your deeds and actions. Let your word mean something. If you say yes, do it but say no if you really can’t.

Always hope for a bright future. God can always bring something different around the corner. Hold on and never give up. Charm puts on an act. Outer beauty fades over time. Fearing and loving the Lord brings praise, honor, and blessing. You will receive good when you do good but remember that good isn’t always what you’re expecting. It’s usually better.

A believer and christian woman is ever Christ and heaven focused that the things of this world will concern her a little.  She is not one that loves the world and its things more than the Word of the Lord.

She Hopes in God - 1 Peter 3:5

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the heart of a woman filled with a deep, abiding hope in her God. This is the foundation of everything God has called her to be. Sarah hoped in God, and she “considered him faithful who had promised” (Hebrews 11:11). Women should never give up the pursuit of God through his word.   A woman who hopes in God is well acquainted with the character of the Promiser and the specifics of his promises. She spends time with him in his word and in prayer, and she believes in his gospel and finds shelter in his name.
She Rests in God -  1 Peter 3:4

A woman who knows her God will put her hope in God and find her rest in God. She calms and quiets her soul, and she does not flail and strive against the God who is her refuge and who determines her circumstances.

Rather than fret, a meek and quiet woman trusts in the Lord. She delights in the Lord, committing her way to him and trusting in him. She delights herself in abundant peace. Trusting God to be who he says that he is, she is still before him and waits patiently for him. She does not seek to justify herself.
She Submits to Her Husband -  1 Peter 3:5–6

An overflow of a wife’s hope and rest in God is submission to her husband. Sarah submitted to Abraham because she trusted in and obeyed God. Her submission to her husband was not due to her reliance upon Abraham. Rather, her eyes were fixed on a trustworthy God who was worthy of her submission. 

When a woman refuses to obey God’s command to submit to her husband, she follows in the footsteps of Eve, the mother of her flesh. But a woman who rests in God and submits to the headship of the Lord Jesus will mimic the example of Sarah who called her husband “lord” 

She Is Fearless  -  1 Peter 3:6

A woman who hopes in God is not afraid, because she knows her God. She is not afraid of the path that her God has called her to walk. She is not afraid of sickness. She is not afraid of the future. She is not afraid of death and dark valleys. She entrusts to God her children, her marriage, and her ministry. She advances the kingdom through fearless submission to God’s design for womanhood, marriage, motherhood, and ministry, because she hopes in God.

You can become beautiful inside by taking steps to surrender your heart to Jesus Christ and inviting Him into your life as Lord and Saviour. Then you begin to study the word and apply it in your daily living.  

Pray always asking for God's help and mercy, ask for grace to obey the Word and voice of God you encounter and hear, so that through hard working, submission, showing of love and care to people, your beauty will radiate for all to see and give glory to God.


Like the Proverbs 31 woman, you can be a virtuous woman, full of grace and a role model for other women round about you.  May this be your portion today in Jesus Christ name. 

THE Lord bless His word in your life in Jesus Christ name.

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Family Reconciliation Series!

  • Divorce is very expensive for a believer.
  • Divorce could make you miss heaven
  • There is no perfect marriage, as the two people in marriage are not  perfect.
  • Before you judge your spouse, judge yourself first.
  • Before correcting your spouse, look inwards and first correct your own weaknesses.

Reasons for Marital Crisis:

LOVELY BUT POOR: - Life can bring different strokes to different families - Some marriages are peaceful and the couple love themselves, but they are 'bastardly' poor.  They love themselves, but no money and no favour coming from anywhere...the devil testing them with poverty.

BLESSED BUT NO PEACE: - Then, we have marriages blessed with riches and wealth, but no peace, infidelity and lack of trust. The man married a beautiful wife, but runs errand for urgly small girls.

I WILL CHANGE HIM AFTER: -Then also, we have some women who marry their husbands with the hope of changing their bad habits of smoking, drinking and womanizing, behaviour patterns formed over the years, which only God can change.  So after trying for a while to change their spouse without success, discouragement, and resistance sets...and the trouble begins.  Only God can change a person and change in a person take time to manifest.  

BUSINESS AS USUAL: - Some young ladies entering into marriage thought it will be a continuation of their old lifestyle, only to discover that marriage places restriction on both the man and the woman in certain matters.  They cannot continue to keep the pictures of their Ex-lovers or continue to follow them after marriage. They will soon discover they cannot invite their Ex-lover to their home and other similar issues...Many at times they will ask "Is this the marriage?and the answer is YES.

GOAT INSTEAD OF SHEEP: - Your marriage is facing crisis because both of you are hard hearted individuals, proud and 'blameless' - You have also bothered to study the word of God to know what it says about marriage, instead you are applying human wisdom, 'smartness' in dealing with your spouse.  Both of you are 'goats', instead of sheeps - Hard truth.

One of you may have slipped into a secret sin or touched unclean things or entered into wrong places, or compromised your position one way or another, without confessing it.

GREED:- Some of you have wrecked your relationship through your greed - looking for what you don't need or trying to get what will not benefit your family.  When you are greedy for another man because of his position and status, greedy for money and promotion, get ready to pay the price - compromise and fall into sin.

Some of you, the devil has sponsored your business and other activities, directing his men and women to patronize you, and has initiated you into different immoral acts and the spirit of lust is living inside of you...and you think your marrying will stop your perverse thinking and behaviour...NO.

SEXUAL PERVERSION: -Through sexual perversion, many young people has sold their soul to the queen of the coast and the spirit of lust has eaten deep into their lives before getting married...and you think the marriage will work, while the 'strongman' of Lust is still living inside of you...NO

SECRET SIN:- Some people has fallen to the trap of the enemy un-knowingly and have refused to confess to their spouse, so they can fight the battle together and overcome. Now, without confessing such secret sin to your spouse, you cannot be free from it, s now you hid and commit sin and it has become an iniquity on you.

DISCUSSING YOUR MARRIAGE: - You that discuss your marriage with your Ex-lover colleague in the office and make jest of your spouse before him/her, I pity you. These are the people you should have withdrawn from to enjoy your marriage, but NO, They will soon tear your marriage apart and your troubles will increase unto loneliness.

FOOLISH THOUGHTS: - You think another man is treating his wife like a queen and your husband is not doing the same, when you are not close to the, neither do you know what the wife is suffering and tolerating. If you think one marriage is perfect you are deceiving yourself.


Brethren, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres -  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Divorce could stop many from entering the kingdom of God, not just because you divorced your spouse, but the moment you cannot stay pure and holy after divorce, the sin  of sleeping with anyone other than your wife or fornication of the heart could cause one to miss heaven.

Some Hard Marriage Reality Question:

1. What do you do when a spouse is convinced the marriage is over? 

A lot can be done, first find out why he/she thinks its over with the marriage.
Take the matter to God in prayer.

Examine your life in view of the complaints of your spouse and decide to amend and correct every mistake.  The man is expected to take leadership in this area and assure her of your love. 

Many couple or partners talking divorce do not know the deep implications of divorce, except that man or woman is already estranged, divorce will distort your life plans and bring a lot of confusion.

Re-marrying does not mean the problem that led to your divorce will not recur again in the new marriage.  Also, when you leave a marriage broken, you can hardly make a better marriage because the experiences of the past will hunt you and you can hardly trust the new husband or wife.  This is why many remain un-married thereafter and fall into diverse temptation and sin, and many will have to live in regret till death.

Reality of life and marriage:

If you were ever in love, its not easy to break the love and just move on, as though nothing has happened.

You will find out that those people urging you on are all agents when the dust settles down. They want to make you like themselves - single parents or divorcees or better still they want to piush you of your marriage, so they can mock you. Many women become laughing stock as lonliness over a long period could make them 'fall' to younger men and sometimes their resources, cars, house and even her retirement benefits cold be the target of such younger men, set to devour her.

Sometimes, the same people urging you on, will turn around to blame you when the chips are down or even seek to replace you.  We have the case of a magistrate court judge who separated a couple, only for the judge to go back and marry the woman.  

Husbands, Wives - Value your spouse and think not that your marriage was an error.  Work-out the marriage you want, rather than expecting things to workout itself.

Regret Case 1: – A 39-year old wife, Fadekemi Adeleye 

This woman told a Customary Court sitting in Aiyedun-Ekiti, in Ikole Local Government Area that she regretted divorcing her first husband. Fadekemi lamented that the beating from her present husband, Adeleye Ojo, was worse than that from her former husband. The estranged wife, who said her husband, (the defendant) would flare-up at the slightest provocation; prayed the court to dissolve her three-year- old marriage. 

“I regretted that I took money from my present husband to file a divorce against my former husband. “I have become a laughing stock in the area we live because of the beating and public disgrace. “People in our area now call me “Titilayo” meaning “There is joy in beating.” “My incumbent husband disgraces me in public, accusing me of having extra-marital affairs,” the woman said. The woman also prayed the court for custody of the only daughter, Precious Adeleye, produced by the union and an order of the court for the release of her property in the man’s house...Courtesy Vanguard

Regret Case 2 - A Man  says - 'Don't be me and live with regret': 

"It is when you are there at your darkest that you need to grip down and try your hardest."

Jacob* left his wife of almost a decade for a woman he had been romancing online. But the grass wasn't greener on the other side. He shares his story with YOU.

"I was you 9 years ago.

I was married, had been with my wife for 15 years. Then I left her 2 months short of our 10 year wedding anniversary.

We were parents to two beautiful children, who are in their late teens now, but were only seven and nine years old when I walked out.

I travelled for work, stayed in a different hotel at least three nights a week. That’s how I met Eve*.

We got to know each other over time. We became Facebook friends. We sent messages to each other all day and night. She was also married, also had two kids. We had so much in common, we soon fell in love. I felt like she 'got' me.

This was all during a very trying time in my marriage. I wasn’t happy, I didn’t look forward to going home. My wife had put on weight, we hardly ever spoke, she always looked so miserable.

Little did I realise that I was the reason she was so down and depressed. I didn’t pay her any attention. I took her for granted. I was too busy wishing my life was more exciting, being romanced online, spending all of my free time thinking how I could get out.

I believed she didn’t love me. I convinced myself she never cared about me or my needs and wants and wishes, that all I was was a paycheck.

She spent her free time taking care of us -- our kids, making our suppers, doing out washing, making lunches, doing homework, projects, shuttling kids to sport, taking care of the pets they loved so much, their friends, and had a job of her own on top of it all.

Every time she spoke to me, all I heard was nagging and whining. But she was actually begging for my attention: a weekend away, a date night, a movie -- everything I ended up doing with Eve behind her back and after I left my family.

We argued and fought because we felt unheard by the other. And yet that was all we actually had to do – LISTEN – to each other!

I moved to another province with Eve. My now ex-wife got custody of our kids. I saw them every second weekend, the usual 'Dad' set up.

New beginnings

One of the typical focuses is to keep all the wrongs they have experience alive in their mind. A person who feels wronged and keeps focused on those wrongs will eventually make a decision to detach and at that moment it’s only a matter of time till they feel so numb they now feel safe to leave the marriage.

If couples took a moment to explore their relationship and their own behaviours what many will discover is where they are is where they should be based on how they have reacted to each other.

Usually what’s at fault is the couples’ lack of knowledge of what has to really happen if they are going to keep a marriage alive for life.

Getting a divorce is a big decision and for many a big gamble and sadly they are not aware they are taking it. All they are focused on is getting out and feeling good again. 

Divorcing has lasting consequences not just for the couple, but also for their children not forgetting the extended families. So when they do get out of the marriage feeling good can be a short-lived relief followed by the real truth that any divorce will bring.

Beloved, God hate divorce, do not like what God hate.

True Life Story:

How God restored a troubles marriage:

The man said - We were both sick of our marriage. 

We had both said to each other, “I don’t believe in divorce, but if I did I’d be out of here.”  We were hopeless.

When I came back from dinner that night she told me the same thing she had said four months earlier. This time, it clicked.

I think God brought an idea to my mind on the spot because it really did change our marriage.


In Matthew 7:1-5 Jesus instructs us to focus on the sin in our own lives before we try to help others deal with sin in their lives.

This is a life-changing principle for all of life and especially for marriage.

Even if you think you are in a conflict with your spouse where he or she is 99% wrong and you are only 1% wrong, you should always treat your sin as the bigger sin—the sin that is closer to you and that you have more responsibility for.

If my wife and I each literally had a speck of dust in our eyes, the speck in my eye would look larger because it’s closer to me.

Jesus said when we ignore our own sin to focus on the sin of others, it’s like having a huge plank of wood sticking out of your eye.

It seems that a lot of that plank of sin is the sin of self-righteousness. We love to compare our sin to others and tell ourselves that they are evil and we aren’t so bad.

It’s crazy to think that I can walk over to my wife with a plank sticking out of my face and gently get the speck out of her eye in any helpful way.

So that night I said to my wife,

“For most of the last year all I’ve done is criticize and rebuke you. So for the next year I promise to not bring up any of your sin or faults. If you ask me a question, I’ll answer it honestly. But I will only initiate talking about my sin. I will listen to all you have to say to me. Any sin I see in you, I will just pray about it.”
I’ve made a lot of vows in my life and have broken most of them, but by God’s grace I kept this one.

Over the next few months, when we would get in an argument, I would catch myself and shut my mouth and listen to all she had to say.

I didn’t attack her. I would agree about all I had done wrong.

It was hard. Internally I was often boiling. But when the largely one-sided fight was over, I would go pray.

I would start out by complaining and telling God all that was wrong with her and how He needed to change her.

But it’s hard to pray about your spouse’s sin and not mention yours. So I prayed more about my own sin.

I started to soften and become broken and humbled by how much God was constantly forgiving me for.

Spending more time focused on how radical the mercy of Christ that flowed from the cross was for me began to truly change me.

It became easier to listen to my wife, easier to be compassionate, and easier to admit my sin.

After maybe four months of this pattern, one day while she yelled at me about something I had done wrong, I was admitting she was right. She stopped mid-sentence and said, “You know, this isn’t all your fault. I’ve sinned too.”

I wish I could say it was happily ever after from then on. It wasn’t.

It probably took another year of working through our sin and getting counseling as well. But the tenor of our marriage changed.

For the first year or so we had been in a race to attack the other. We wanted to score the most points by landing the best rebuke on the other. We wanted to win the argument.

Now, for the last 15 years or so, by God’s grace, we typically race to see who can repent first.

Rather than focusing on the other person’s speck of sin, we usually try to focus on our own plank of sin first. This does many great things for our marriage and for our ministry.

First, we become more humble because we are more aware of our own sin.

We also become more gracious because we are so much more aware of how much Christ is constantly forgiving us for.

Last but not least, we are much more gentle.

Because we realize how tender it can be to get sin out of our own eye, we want to be much more careful and patient in trying to help get it out of someone else’s eye—spouse or student.

By God’s grace we rarely fight anymore. When things come up, we are usually quick to repent. Christ, His Word, and His mercy truly saved our marriage and our ministry.


Beloved, Jesus is coming back soon.  "Where will you spend eternity - In heaven or hell"? This is the time to work-out your salvation.  Now is the acceptable time!

Repent and give your heart to Jesus. He will give you a new life, victory and eternal life.  Will you accept Him today?


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