MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP.........You should Understand!


A Christian marriage is one under a covenant.  It is always an error for any one of the couples to get up one morning and decides to act anyhow or abandon the marriage all-together, there will be consequences.  

The marriage instituted by God is one under the Lordship of Christ, who is the head of the church.  It is a covenant between God, man and his wife and if the two people involved in the marriage want to enjoy their union, they have to consider themselves to be individually and collectively before the Lord.

When the husband sees himself as being before the Lord in his marriage, he becomes accountable to God for his behaviours, likewise the wife.  Take the example of Joseph, a slave boy in Egypt, whose master has surrendered everything in the house under his control.  Remember that Joseph was not his first son, or his PA or a relative of Pontiphar, but he handed over everything in the house to him, now watch this... Joseph saw himself as being before the Lord, he worked with all his heart, wisdom, and talent.  He saw himself accountable unto the Lord for his actions and when the temptation came his way, his remarks was "How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God" Gen 39:9

There are many people today, who get into marriage without understanding that it is a covenant. As such, they keep wishing that it will be glorious without knowing that they must first fulfilled their own side of the deal, before they can  taste the glory in it. Marriage, like I mentioned earlier, is not just the coming together of two individuals to have children, it is much more than two people cohabiting under the same roof and it goes beyond the issue of ordinary friendship. According to God’s Word, it is a covenant relationship.

Marriage is a covenant between God, a man and a woman. When a man and a woman agree to get married, it means that they are stepping into a covenant.  It is a relationship that can’t be broken, and should last a lifetime. In the marriage covenant, there are conditions to fulfill and benefits to reap; but there are also penalties when the covenant is broken. Therefore, don’t just rush into marriage without the understanding of what it is all about. Remember, when you step in, you can’t break it. Marriage is no light matter before God; it is a covenant.

Marriage is not two people trying to live and work together. Therefore, before entering into any marriage covenant, it is important to ensure that you know the person you are going to marry. So many people get engaged before they ever know about the things to consider. Marriage is designed by God to be the most intimate human relationship we voluntarily enter in life.

The Word of God makes it clear that marriage is a covenant.  It is not just the coming together of a man and woman for procreation, neither is it just for friendship. It should also not be seen as a business contract, where one family wants to join with another for the purpose of ensuring that the source of wealth does not dry up in the family. Furthermore, it is not a situation where a man desiring resident permit for a particular country, quickly finds and marries an indigene of that country to secure same. No! Marriage is a covenant relationship.

The question is: "What is a Covenant"? The dictionary defines it as ‘a binding agreement, or a contract’ usually between two people. The Word of God says: ‘Marriage is Honourable’ (Hebrews 13:4). In other words, the agreement of marriage between two people is seen as a good thing in the sight of God, which eventually leads to honour and dignity for the parties involved. Therefore, I want to let you know that it is a good thing to desire marriage, if you are not yet married. For those already married, it is a good step you have taken in life. You shall have no cause to regret it!

Understanding the Marriage Covenant

However, as good as marriage is, there are covenant responsibilities that must be operated, if the marriage covenant must produce the desired good. The Word says: If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land (Isaiah 1:19).  There is good in marriage, but you must be willing and obedient to operate the covenant. 

Being a follower of Jesus Christ changes everything about a person.  It changes the believer’s priorities and focus, it changes the way in which the believer relates to others, it changes everything about how the believer lives.  Therefore, the believing husband should have some distinct characteristics evident in his life even before the marriage and after marriage.  The characteristics being the result of his repentance, word transformation and his relationship with Jesus.  

There is no doubt that by following God's word and precepts, a person becomes transformed from the inside, to the extend that you behaviour, choices, likes and desires has to change.  For instance, many believers enter into an Oath of Chastity with the Lord, even before getting married, to the extent that they will remain faithful to their wife and God throughout their marriage. 

This is the kind of thing, I am talking about.  You are born again and you know the truth about what God expects from you as a believer, you also know your duties in the marriage covenant and you are not willing to trade your salvation for anything, then that godly wisdom and the help of the Holy Spirit will motivate your change of thinking and behaviour.  However, for the avoidance of doubt, God Himself decided to guide the men in marriage by advising them to be:

Love their wives sacrificially

A godly husband should love his wife with the love of Jesus Christ; his marriage relationship should be the most important relationship he has, after his relationship with Jesus.  He must give himself to his wife in a self-sacrificing way and strive to love her as Christ loves the church.  He should guard his heart and mind, so that he is able to resist temptations that are sure to come at him, in a dark world we live in today.

The Bible tells husbands to love their wives in a very special way, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up of her…” (Ephesians 5:25 ESV).  This passage tells us that husbands are to be self-sacrificing for their wives.  Husbands are not to expect their wives to be slaves that exist merely to do the man’s bidding.  In fact, this same passage says, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29, 33a ESV).

Men be dedicated to their wives
From Genesis where the account of God's created was recorded, we see that God created man and woman and joined then together as one.  He therefore commanded the man to leave his parents and establish a new home with his wife.  God did not want man to be lonely, and at the same time, God wanted to have a family, not just Adam and Eve alone, so through marriage, man was to increase and fill the earth and subdue it.

In Ephesians 5:31, the bible says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31).  Although a man should continue to honour his parents, he is also to separate from them and become one with his wife (Genesis 2:24)

Be faithful to his wife and to God

Marriage is a covenant relationship between God, man and his wife.  The man and the woman are expected to be faithful to one another.  The Lord spoke through Malachi that He is keeping records of the man's behaviour to the wife of his youth.  He reprimanded the children of Israel for mistreating their wives by being froward with them.  The bible says: “The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.  He warned them to guard themselves and let none of them be faithless to the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:14-16).  

Guard your heart

The husband should be very careful to be faithful to his wife in his thought life also.  Too many husbands think that, as long as they are faithful in their external relationship, they can entertain a less-than-faithful internal thought life.  However, Jesus tells us that it is possible to be an adulterer in our hearts, even if the sin is never acted out, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 ESV).

Provide for your wife
There may be circumstances in which the husband is unable to provide for his wife and family, but as a general principle, the husband should provide for his wife, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV).  The husband should not carry out this duty grudgingly, but out of love for his wife and family…and out of gratefulness to God.

The husband should make sure he lets his wife know she is loved, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:28 ESV).  Too often, we husbands do not tell our wives how much they mean to us.  We may feel happy and grateful for their support, but, but seldom say it in such a way to them.  The reason is because, good praise get into the woman's head quickly and the next moment, she begins to behave as she like, after all, you have already praised her hard work and support.

Be kind to your wife
There is no excuse for a husband to be hurtful to his wife, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).  We have already read the biblical mandate that husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church.  Jesus does not treat His church in a hard way, and no husband should treat his wife in a hard way.  The two of you has become one.  If you maltreat her, you will hinder your prayers, as the Lord says He will not answer you.

Many men are today stranded and complaining of unanswered prayers, without knowing that it is the way they mistreat their wives that is causing their unanswered prayers.  The husband should embrace the loving kindness of Christ and practise same at home with his wife and children. The Bible show clearly that the relationship with your wife can affect your prayers. Lets show them honour, so that our prayers are not hindered.

Message by Pastor Chris...Husbands are Masters over their wives

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome

The husband is not just the head of the wife in marriage, he is her master and lord. This was the point of Pastor Chris Oyakhilome of Christ Embassy recently.  He stated categorically that husbands are masters over their wives and that wives are not equal to their husbands. 

This teaching goes further to explain how the woman is under the authority of the man always and not authority sharers as widely believed in some quarters. 


Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master. The reason for most problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form theirs. 

They believe they are equal partners. If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their marriage and they will be very happy people. 

Most women have never been taught by their parents, their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they think he is another woman.

In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union, its important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is where you are wrong. He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and his needs.

When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. The Bible says, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.

When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly. 

Why did God make the woman? Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve, He said in Genesis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good”. 

God made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.Genesis 2:18a “And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..” The Bible didn’t say “lonely” but “alone”. 

There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b “…I will make him an help meet”. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him what to do.I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man achieve that responsibility. If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.

I tell people that you don’t need a marriage seminar, you need the Word Seminar. Let me tell you, no husband wants another mother, he has had one all his life. He doesn’t want an older sister, he probably had one.

Your secret is in obedience, your secret is in listening to your husband, your secret is in doing the things that please him. When you don’t do the things that please him, you take the role of a mother or of an older sister. 

A man loves the one he serves (God) and the one that serves him (a good wife). He fights the one that wants to be at the same level with him (a rebellious wife). Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Capture (1) To be happy in your family and home is the easiest thing in the world, just take your role. Take your place. 

That place that God gave you is a beautiful place. Its a place of peace. Its a place of love. It’s a place of excellence. Every wise person listens to wise voices (advice) but he listens to a wise voice that is presented wisely. Everyone rebels against the voice that is trying to make a fool out of him. 

When you want to correct your husband, don’t lord it over him, present it as a wise suggestion. Humble yourself and be smart. A wise woman will always be an influence to her husband, the foolish one will always annoy the husband, make him mad, make him angry and when you make him angry, you will be the victim. 

Learn to listen to your husband, practice it, tell yourself that you are going to do it because that is where your beauty is. Once you stop listening, your beauty evaporates. You wonder why you are dressing and he can’t see it, he doesn’t remember your last hair style. Beauty is in obedience. 

That’s where the Glory is.


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